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“A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.” ~ Charles Spurgeon
“There will be times in your life that you will be challenged to choose between honor and something else. I am asking that you not sacrifice your honor for the sake of acquiring easy things.” ~ Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability
“All tales, then, are at some level a journey into the woods to find the missing part of us, to retrieve it and make ourselves whole. Storytelling is as simple – and complex – as that. That’s the pattern. That’s how we tell stories.” ~ John Yorke, Into the Woods: A Five Act Journey Into Story
The first meaning of character is: “the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.”
The second is: “a person in a novel, play, or movie: a part played by an actor.”
It seems to me that a lot of the news stories that come out on a daily basis are about character. How what politicians, judges, business leaders and even ordinary people say and do give us a clue about their values and morals.
What qualities do people with good character have and how can we foster it in our children? I hinted at this in last week’s post about what we learn in kindergarten, but there is another way. If we examine the stories we consume, we have lots of examples of good and bad personal character. I write that because I began analyzing stories with my family at a fairly young age. Eventually I realized that gave me a wonderful education in what kind of person I wanted to be.
The process an actor goes through to understand her or his character is extensive. They look at what the character says and does, and why, to discover their moral bent, their mental/emotional state, and to get clues about their past that might be affecting the present of the story. Examining all of these things, and more, helps the actor make the best choices in his or her portrayal.
In some sectors of society, acting is looked at as a trivial pursuit. After all lives are not being saved. And yet maybe they are. People who analyze stories understand human behavior and the good ones apply what they’ve learned in their lives away from the stage. As I used to tell my acting students, “You’ll be learning skills in this class that you will be able to use in your real life.” Knowing something about character analysis is particularly helpful if you’re a leader of some sort. You can look behind the behaviors of those who work for you and perhaps help the ones who need it instead of writing them off and firing them.
Understanding human behavior is also helpful during conflict with another person. The skills of looking beneath the surface kick in and you can think of the possible reasons this person is angry, or upset. I’ve used this tool often. Taking a breath and not reacting right away helps. Most times the other person stops yelling at you, wondering why you’re not engaging. In the silence you can say very calmly, “You’re really upset. Is there something I can do to help you?” Saying something like that usually causes the person to calm down enough so you can get to what’s bothering them. The key is to stay calm.
Each of us decides at some point what kind of mental and moral qualities we’re going to develop. In some cases, this is an unexamined choice. However, it’s becoming more common to encourage people to examine what happens to them and how they feel about it. One tool is to keep a journal. A journal, unlike a diary, is a chronicle of our thoughts and feelings about what we experience. I don’t know about you, but in my journal I’m asking myself questions about the choices I’ve made and how they affected not only me, but those around me. I also ask questions about what’s happening in the world and how I can effect change. One answer that keeps coming back to me is to work on myself. Doing that creates a ripple effect. My life touches other lives, hopefully in a positive way, which might help them figure something out that they’ve been working on, and so on and so on. We can create positive ripples, or negative ones. It’s up to us.
I’m old enough to have seen lots of struggles for human rights on the one hand and corruption on the other. I’ve seen people, corporations, and governments choose money and power over people. But it seems to me things are changing, all be it slowly, toward choosing humans over the glitz and glamour, power and prestige. Maybe it’s because more and more people are choosing honor, love and caring over something else.
For me, stories give us a myriad of examples of characters and the consequences of their choices. As we read, or watch, we get to choose the ones we want to emulate.
Thanks for reading, liking, and commenting. I hope things are going well in your world.
Blessings,
Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2023
Story-Power on Patreon
I’m so passionate about stories and what I can learn from them that I created the Story-Power podcast and Patreon communities so I’d have an excuse to talk story. You may have seen my Story-Power posts here. If you’re passionate about stories too, and want to talk about your favorite stories, come join me at patreon.com/StoryPower.
Saving the World One Story at a Time
Dale Carnegie wrote in his book How To Win Friends and Influence People, “Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. ‘To know all is to forgive all.’”
That’s why I’m hooked on stories. I get to watch the characters go through their emotional ups and downs, try to understand them and by extension, myself. If that sounds like something you’d like to try, you might want to consider taking my course Saving the World One Story at a Time.
Course Code: //www.udemy.com/course/saving-the-world-one-story-at-a-time/?couponCode=SAVINGTHEWORLDJULY23
PodMatch
If you are a podcaster, or have a message or fantastic product you want to share with the world, I encourage you to check out PodMatch. I call them a dating service for podcasters. Use the affiliate link and tell them, Lucinda sent you. Then contact me so we can set up a Story-Power chat.
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