“Humans are not ideally set up to understand logic; they are ideally set up to understand stories.” ~ Roger C. Shank, Cognitive Scientist
“I believe that a different therapy must be constructed for each patient because each has a unique story.” ~ Irvin D. Yale
“The computer can’t tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what’s missing is the eyebrows.” ~ Frank Zappa
For three years, since I started my Story-Power podcast, I have been actively trying to define what it is about stories that make them so significant for us. When I read the Frank Zappa quote above, I finally got it. Logic is cold and lifeless. We need it in certain situations, but when we gather with friends and family, it’s the emotions behind the stories we share that enrich our lives.
This past weekend we traveled to Portland, Oregon to attend my cousin’s memorial service. It was an emotional weekend to say the least. She died on Easter Sunday four days before her 59th birthday. The family spent a lot of time before and after the service sharing stories not just about my cousin and how she’d touched us, but stories about what we’d learned from related events in our own lives.
It’s during these types of gatherings, where stories take on a special significance. That’s why we continue to have family reunions, get together for Christmases or High Holy Days, birthdays, weddings, and end of life events. Because these events give us permission to tell the emotional parts of our lives that we keep hidden most of the time.
Humans are emotional beings but for some reason, at least in the U.S., we hide them as if we’re ashamed of them. Or we’re afraid someone will take advantage of us if we show how we truly feel. Stoicism has been considered a virtue in some sectors of the population since ancient Greek and Roman times and may be the origin of the reprehensible practices of placing money, power, and prestige before caring for human beings.
If you don’t know what stoicism is, think of Spock in the Star Trek franchise. His character comes from a whole race of stoics who prize logic above emotion because they believe it makes them stronger. But what Spock learns is that it’s emotional connections with others that is of ultimate strength. The MCU has other examples of characters who believe that to suppress emotions makes us stronger. Yon-Rogg in Captain Marvel is continually telling Vers (Carol Danvers) that. But when she discovers who she really is, he finds out he’s wrong. After all, we’re built with nervous systems in our bodies, not computer chips.
I have to admit that there have been people in my life who attempted to make me feel less than because I loved stories so much and wanted to spend my life as a story seeker and teller. They thought I should put away childish things and follow the money. Sometimes they succeeded in making me question my choice of education or careers. Fortunately that time is finally over.
To me stories are one of the most powerful forces in the world. They can touch and change us in ways we often can’t even define. Watching someone go through things on the screen or in a book that are difficult, even traumatic, and then coming out the other side a stronger person, that’s priceless. We get to experience something extraordinary that in our normal lives we wouldn’t be able to be a part of. And it’s all because the storyteller chose to open their heart and be vulnerable enough to share something really important with the rest of us.
It feels to me like humans are changing from cold emotionless people seeking validation from outside ourselves to beings who long for emotional connection with others. I say that because looking at the stories being told now explore internal conflicts more readily than stories which are exclusively driven by external conflict. Or they are a combination of the two with emphasis on how the characters deal with external events internally. How do the characters change because of what happens to them?
I’m going to continue to explore this idea of what makes stories so important to us and share new insights with you as they come to me. I hope you’ll come along for the ride.
Stay cool if you’re in the Northern Hemisphere enjoy the cooler temps if you’re not.
Blessings,
Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2023
Come join me on Patreon for more story discussions
I’m so passionate about stories and what I can learn from them that I created the Story-Power podcast and Patreon communities so I’d have an excuse to talk story. You may have seen my Story-Power posts here. If you’re passionate about stories too, and want to talk about your favorite stories, come join me at patreon.com/StoryPower.
PodMatch
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Sage Woman Chronicles 