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“Tough times never last, but tough people do.” ~ Robert H. Schuller
“Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.” ~ Coco Chanel
“Time changes everything except something within us which is always surprised by change.” ~ Thomas Hardy
Time is a human construct. We are the only species on the planet that can remember the past, at least our version of it, and imagine what the future will be like. Which means that most of us don’t live in the present moment. I have to remind myself to concentrate on the moment I’m living in.
Something living in the present moment does, is to help me be more grateful. I tell myself often that in this moment I have a roof over my head, food on the table and the chance to be creative every day. In the past when times were not going so well, I would remind myself, “In this moment I’m safe, I have everything I need, and because of that I can relax.”
These past weeks have been stressful. My mother’s health is failing. As a result she’s been in and out of the hospital, and because she’s on Medicaid, she’s been moved to new living facilities two or three times as well. Other things have happened too. She’s been taken advantage of, which makes my brother, sisters and me very upset and worried for her. My youngest sister is the sibling who lives closest to her and has taken care of her for the past years. It has taken a bigger toll on her than the rest of us. In a way, I feel bad about that. But then I remember that I was the one who took care of my Mom’s mom. We’ve all done our part to support family members in any way we can.
On top of what’s going on with my Mom, there have been so many tragedies going on around the world. I must admit that sometimes I feel overwhelmed. When things go sideways, I feel it in my body. Sometimes it’s just a general sense of unease, others it’s an itchy feeling under the skin, others my stomach is so clenched that I get a sour stomach and heartburn.
At times like these, I ask myself, “What am I supposed to be learning from this?”, and “How can I help my mother, sister, and all the other people who are suffering right now”? I live far from most of them. The only answer I’ve come up with is that my love and prayers for healing and support transcend distance, which I send out every day. I send it not just to my family, but to places where there is great turmoil and suffering. Sometimes I envision the Earth completely surrounded by light and love. It’s these things that help me feel that I am actually having a small positive effect on what’s happening.
One thing is for sure, nothing stays the same. Change happens whether we’re ready for it or not. The upheaval is a testament to that. I liken times like this to “cosmic closet cleaning”. Whenever we do any kind of reorganizing, we have to make a mess to get rid of the things we no longer need or want before we can put things back into some kind of order.
I don’t know about you, but for these past three years I’ve had to remind myself over and over again to stay in the moment and find things to be grateful for. It’s not easy. My first inclination is to moan and complain. A friend of mine said that humans tend to go to negative feelings when something unsettling happens. I’ve decided I don’t want to do that anymore. I’d rather feel good and so I keep reminding myself to go back to the present moment. When I concentrate on what I’m doing in this moment, most of the turmoil in the outside world fades away.
How do you cope with unexpected challenges? I hope you’ll share so we can all gather more tools for relieving stress and living in gratitude.
Blessings,
Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2023
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