“Will it make a difference in a hundred years?” ~ James Calvin Sage, about any problem that arises
“Gain disguised as loss.” Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way
“Fear is the mind killer.” Frank Herbert, Dune
Something I’ve learned in my 71 years of life is that sometimes things that look like disasters end up being the gateway to something fabulous. In fact, it’s happened to me more than once. I think it’s happening now.
This is not only true for events in my personal life, but events in the greater world as well. For example, the Supreme Court decision that a president has limited immunity from prosecution when acting in an official capacity is one such situation. Over and over again the pundits, journalists, leaders of social justice organizations, and even regular every day people are panicking and denounce such decisions as the most terrible thing that has happened in the history of our country.
In cases like these, fear runs rampant. People throw up their hands and say things like, “What is this world coming to?” Or, “Our Democracy is doomed.” Or, “My life is ruined.” But here’s something I’ve learned. As I stated in my opening paragraph, sometimes the thing that I see as a disaster, is actually trying to get me to rethink, redirect, and make a new choice so my life can be better.
My dad used to ask us when we would get upset over some “tragedy” that happened to us, “Will it make a difference in 100 years? Or even in a year, month, or next week?” Once we calmed down, took a breath and thought about it, what had occurred was most definitely not that earth shattering. In fact we probably wouldn’t even remember the incident some time down the road. What my dad was teaching us was to take a breath and detach our emotions long enough to see a bigger picture. It was one of his lessons in how to cultivate emotional intelligence.
About the Supreme Court decisions, we can ask, are these decisions irreversible? No. There have been other Supreme Court decisions that have been reversed, like, Roe V Wade. So, these last decisions can be reversed as well. And even though at this point Supreme Court Justices are able to serve for a lifetime, that too could change. I can’t think of anything that’s permanent on this planet.
Thinking of the latest Supreme Court decisions, and even laws that have been passed to curtail so many things we took for granted, we can ask another question, “What am I supposed to be learning from these events?” Getting the answers to that question means you have to be open to guidance from someplace bigger than yourself. Your ego is not going to tell you the truth because its there to control you. Our egos can’t see past the end of our noses. But whatever you call It, The Universe, Higher Power, God, or as I call It, Divine Oneness, It has your back and will give you the answers you need!
How do I know that Divine Oneness has only my welfare in mind, you might ask? If you think back on your life, how many blessings can you count? I bet it’s a lot. I’ll give you a personal example, there have been times in my life when I was in crisis and I asked what I was supposed to learning and I got answers. You may want to know “How do I know when I get guidance?” The answers can come from a song, something you’re reading or watching, or from something someone says to you. That’s the first part. The second is when you hear that thing that makes you perk up, how does it make you feel? Does it make your heart sing, or your stomach sink. There are lots of variations to what I’m describing. We’ve all had those physical sensations of warning, or excitement. Pay attention to those, they are giving you vital information.
Practicing gratitude is another extremely important tool to use to turn fear into some better feeling. There was a time in our marriage when Barry and I had financial difficulties. When I’d wake up in the middle of the night worried about how we were going to make it through, I’d say to myself, “I’m grateful that in this moment, I have everything I need and I’ve got Divine Oneness on my side.” I’d repeat that over and over until the worry dissipated. And little by little, our financial situation improved. We didn’t win the lottery, or get a huge windfall of money, but we learned to make better choices, and little miracles happened. We got raises, or small gifts of money that got us through the crisis.
Another lesson that I cherish from my father, was to look for the possible consequences of my own decisions, or the decisions of government that were going to affect me. He taught me to project what might happen in the future. A lot of times, I could project outcomes for each choice. Combining my projections with the physical clues I was getting, that helped me overcome fear.
I know what your thinking, the decisions that the Supreme Court has been making lately have dire consequences. “Any decision that tries to undercut our Democracy is bad. We won’t recover from what they’ve done for many years.” But that’s not the only way to look at the situation. Are people sitting back and saying, “Oh well, there’s nothing I can do now. The Supreme Court and our state and national governments have control.” Or, is there a lot of backlash? Are people mobilizing? Are there debates about the ethics of our elected or appointed officials and calls to investigate the ones who may have violated the law? Are there calls to vote for the candidates who share your values? If you can say yes to any of those questions, then the situation may be bad for a while, but things are happening to right the direction in which we’re currently headed.
I know, it’s difficult to deal with so much upheaval. I’ve been through this kind of unrest before. I grew up during the Civil Rights Movement, the Vietnam War Protests, the Women’s Rights Movement demonstrations, and huge government scandals like Watergate. There were also a lot of changes going on in society in terms of the types of music, books, and movies that were popular. There were acrimonious debates about what was acceptable morally, how we should educate our children, what were the rights of workers, and on and on. What’s happening now is so much like then. Most of the same issues are coming up again for reexamination.
And here’s something else to think about. We don’t learn our lessons all at once. We do a little work to heal, then those same issues come up again so we can do more work. But we can’t heal or affect any kind of change if we’re too fearful to examine how we think and feel about what’s going on. If we want a better world, we have to examine what’s happening so we can make educated decisions about what to do to remedy the situation. And we need to remember that Divine Oneness has our back. We can tune into Its wisdom, turn our worries over to It and gain guidance on how to affect changes for the better. Or we can continue to be miserable and live in fear. We get to choose.
If we want positive change, we have to let love grow in our hearts. If we learn to love those who are not like us, that’s a huge step in moving humanity toward a better world. Remember, though, loving others starts with loving ourselves, so working on that is a huge step toward healing our collective wounds.
My last thoughts are these:
We can bury our heads in the sand, but remember not making decisions is making decisions that aren’t helpful.
I suggest not listening to news 24/7. It’s okay to be informed, but inundating ourselves with negative energy leads to more fear.
It’s good to take breaks from the craziness to deal with our fear, regroup and recharge. Keeping a journal can help with that.
Look for good news and hopeful stories where people take care of each other.
Choose just one or two causes to spend your energy on. Helping others is a great way to find joy.
Give money to good causes. The donations don’t have to be large. Every little bit helps and makes you feel good.
Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about how you feel about what’s happening. Look for solutions rather than griping.
Look for and be grateful for all the blessings you’ve been given. Gratitude banishes fear.
These are things I’ve learned from trying to love myself and find ways to grow. There are lots of resources of books, videos, and people that can help. Remember, you are never alone.
If you’ve read to the end, I hope what I’ve written helps in some way. I’m willing to talk or communicate via email with you if you need me.
Here’s to a wonderful summer for all of you.
Blessings,
Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2024
Sage Woman Chronicles 