I Refuse to be Pessimistic

“If all you do is spend time focusing on what the problem is, you leave no room open for the solution.” –Mastin Kipp

“As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation – either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.”– Martin Luther King Jr.

“Every individual matters. Every individual has a role to play. Every individual makes a difference.” –Jane Goodall

Why do we do it? Why do we always go to the cynical, pessimistic place first? Some unexpected challenge happens, and we go immediately into a panic. I do it too.

Something happened this week that made me see that I do that. I didn’t like it and I declared: “I refuse to be pessimistic!” All of a sudden I’d had it up to here (hand placed above my head) with cynicism and being pessimistic about life.

It happened at my book club group. We got to talking about the younger generation. (We’re a group of Baby Boomers.) One of the women said that she didn’t understand the younger generation and the discussion turned, as it always does with the older generation, to concern about whether or not the future was in good hands.

This kind of discussion gets my ire up. I guess it’s because I’ve been a teacher in one form and another for thirty-five years. I’ve taught high school and college classes for fifteen years, and every year, I’m excited by how bright and thoughtful my students are. So, I spoke up and said that I have faith in the younger generation and then I declared, “I refuse to be pessimistic about the young people today! I refuse to be pessimistic about anything!” This caused the other women to pause.

Later, I thought about it and I’ve decided that a better way to say it is, “I’m determined to be positive.”

My generation went through a lot of horrible stuff. We got shell shocked, so letting go of cynicism might be hard. We suffered through assassinations, multiple wars, a loss of innocence about government, and the turmoil around the Civil Rights of humans in this country. Many of those struggles go on today. But, our children have gone through some rough times too. That’s why we need to give them a break.

Let’s face it, life’s been hard for people throughout the centuries, but being pessimistic hasn’t made us happier. So I propose, we turn our thoughts to looking for the positive things happening in our lives.

Now I know that’s not easy. Some people have depression or other mental challenges, which means their brains have a hard time going to those positive places. At least it’s hard to do without help. However, those of us who can snap out of a funk need to give changing our thinking a try. All it takes is paying attention to our reactions and what we say about our challenges both inside our heads, and verbally.

As we all know life’s not all a bed roses and rainbows. Everything worth doing grows out of commitment and struggle. The baby is born with a lot of pain and effort on the part of the mother. But the pain and struggle vanish the moment the baby arrives. The child goes to school and learns discipline so they can be educated. At each achievement the child sees the value of the effort. The artist uses talent, discipline and an open connection to something larger than themselves to create their work, which gives pleasure. Any endeavor humans undertake is fraught with challenges. But people keep having babies, and children continue to go to school. Artists continue to follow their muses and create. People still start businesses, volunteer, or work for good causes. Life goes on and society progresses. The reason we continue to strive is because we see the benefits of the effort.

So, I propose for those of us who can, let’s make the effort to stop being cynical and pessimistic about the future. I don’t mean that we should ignore the problems we face. What I propose is that we look at the problems in a new way. What if, when faced with a challenge, we said to ourselves, “There is a solution to this and I can find it.”

So, going back to my generation’s relationship with our children, what if we trusted them? What if we remembered what it was like to face the condemnation of our parents and grandparents and refused to do that to our children and grandchildren? We Baby Boomers are rabble rousers. Let’s continue to be rabble rousers and strive to understand and support our children as they make their contributions to society. After all they came into the world we built for them. We have to take responsibility for that.

My generation has done some pretty amazing things. I trust the generations coming along to do even more astonishing things that will help make this world a better place in which to live. In fact they already are.

And, since I’m not ready to give up making my contributions to society, I’m going to stop concentrating on the ills, and look for all the good things that are happening. When enough of us do that, who knows what great things we’ll create.

© Lucinda Sage-Midgorden
Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/Wyrdwoman

I Did It!

“It’s easy to attack and destroy an act of creation. It’s a lot more difficult to perform one.” –Chuck Palahniuk

I did it! I finished the rough draft of my novel. It’s been a long two years, mostly because I didn’t do a plot outline. I just picked up a novel I’d started about fourteen years ago and I started writing. Oh, I had a basic idea of where the story was going, but I trusted the writing gods to lead me.

This is what I discovered: The more I wrote, the more I wanted to write. Ideas come in my dreams, meditations, while I’m driving, cooking and in the shower. Every morning I wake up and feel that tug at my heart to get my fingers on the computer keys.

Finishing the rough draft doesn’t mean my work is finished. Oh, no. Now comes the fun part, revising. I get to make what I’ve written better. Then, I’ll send it out and get other people’s perspective and then I’ll revise again.

Writing is like life; we’re always revising, always improving, always discovering ourselves. When we’ve finished improving one aspect of our lives, we start on another. I love that. I love that I’m never going to be finished, with writing, or with expanding my life. Watch out. I could live forever. I’m having too much fun to give it up now.

The other day my husband and I were at a gallery opening where he has artwork. One of my former drama students was there with her husband and new baby. She and I have kept in contact over the years and she said something that made me take pause. “I admire the way you’re following your dreams.” That kind of threw me for a loop. I followed my dreams because I couldn’t do otherwise. My soul called and I had to answer. Some people don’t get that. I was humbled that she did. She’s a theatre artist, though, so maybe that’s why. Artist follow their hearts, take chances and sometimes the world doesn’t understand them. I guess we all have trouble understanding each other. Great art brings us closer together.

I’m not saying my novel is high art, nevertheless, it has changed my life and I’m grateful for that.

Oh, and this holiday season, support local and independent artists, designers and crafters. They have bills to pay too. And you’ll be giving a unique and beautiful piece of art into which someone put their soul.

© Lucinda Sage-Midgorden
Like my writer’s page on Facebook – Lucinda Sage Midgorden

The Power of Play

“Turn off your mind, relax, and float downstream.” – John Lennon

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”  — Mark Twain

Recently, a debate arose on Facebook among my college friends about the possible elimination of winter term from Graceland University’s educational year. (A note to Elvis fans, Graceland University was in existence long before Elvis’ Graceland.)

It started off by one of my friends saying he thought it was a good thing to eliminate winter term so that students could focus on real learning. He set off a firestorm of discussion. I found out later he’d never attended Graceland, even though it is sponsored by the Church he belongs to, so he’d never experienced the benefits of such a program. In his defense I’ll say, it’s like him to post comments that promote discussion.

Let me explain what winter term was when I attended Graceland. During the month of January, students had a chance to sign up for one seminar type class. These were outside the normal college curriculum. Students could try out a discipline they were interested in, but didn’t have time to fit into their regular schedule, or they could take a trip to exotic places. Others opted to take art or music classes, or classes in their subject area that weren’t offered at any other time. Students were encouraged to play, and explore. The schedule was relaxed and we had lots of one-on-one time with the instructors.

Two good things about winter term: It was a way to ease back into the intensity of the spring semester. And it was a great chance to get to know a new set of people while exploring a new subject area. Yes, some students did a lot of goofing off, however, there were required assignments to do as part of these classes, though the requirements were more lenient. I have to say, I got a lot out of playing and learning at the same time.

Now maybe it’s because I’ve studied theatre, but I think play is a very important component to learning. Our minds and bodies get tired when we work too hard. It’s good to give them both some rest through play. When I taught High School English classes, I’d build in creative projects, or activities that encouraged discussion and an element of fun. It was a necessity since the classes were one hundred minutes long. I did this based on my feeling that play enhances learning. However, I was supported in that notion when I took a series of workshops meant to help ELL students (English Language Learners) succeed in not only learning the language, but learning the information being presented in class. Many of the activities presented in those workshops encouraged us to help the students talk with each other so peer learning could take place. The activities got the students out of their seats moving around and thinking in new ways.

While I was doing my guided meditation this morning, I had a new insight about hard work VS play. I’m one of those people who believed the axiom that to be prosperous, you need to work hard and sacrifice you free time. This morning that was shattered by the knowledge that the opposite is actually true. If I hadn’t been involved in theatre all these years, where it’s fun to do the “work”, I might never have seen the error in my thinking.

What I realized is that, “hard work” is something you do when you’re not aligned with you’re task. It’s a struggle to do the job, because it’s not your highest purpose. Nearly six years ago, I found that I was a good teacher, but it wasn’t my highest purpose and I was exhausted at the end of each day, unless I was directing a play. Then the day ended on a high note and I felt energized.

So, the word play can mean different things. It can mean goofing off and neglecting the task at hand. But, I think the best interpretation of play is, engaging in something you truly love to do, something that energizes and enriches your life. When we play to enrich our lives, we become more relaxed and the creative ideas flow.

The day I knew that I was meant to be a writer was one of the best days of my life, though I didn’t know it at the time. I’ve learned the joy of “playing” every day doing what I love. My life is rich and full and I’ve let go of the need to control events so that I can become prosperous. My little voice tells me to concentrate on perfecting my skills and let serendipity guide me when it’s time to promote and market my work.

I’m wondering, do you play to enhance your life? Are you doing what you love? If not, how could your life be better by doing so?

© Lucinda Sage-Midgorden
Follow my writer’s page on Facebook, Lucinda Sage Midgorden

Be Bold

“Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
– Franz Kafka

“Freedom lies in being bold.” – Robert Frost

These are two new favorite quotes of mine. When I read the quote by Kafka, I had to admit that for many years, I did edit my soul. I hid my true self. We all do it to a certain extent. We want to be liked, and to fit in. But I think there comes a point when we have to make a choice to be true to ourselves, or follow the crowd.

As I became older and got bolder about sharing my point of view, I was told my ideas were unique. Like most people, I longed to be unique and special, so little by little I blossomed and gained confidence in who I was.

Now that I’m 60 years old, I’m much bolder about sharing what I think. I still temper what I’m saying. Being sensitive enough to know how to state your truth is important. I’ve never been blunt like my youngest sister, even though over the years I’ve envied her “I don’t care what you think of me” attitude. I’ve learned a great lesson from her, however. It doesn’t matter what others think. What matters is what I think of myself. It’s nice to know we’ve influenced each other. She’s softer in her interactions with people and I’m more open about sharing my true self.

One of the ways I share my inner most thoughts is through my “intense obsession”, writing. Sometimes I think it’s not a very important contribution to make to a changing world. Yet, it’s the thing that grasps me. My writing projects are the first thing I think about when I wake in the morning and the last thing I think about upon going to sleep.

When people ask me why I chose to quit my full-time teaching job to write, I struggle with what to tell them. Then this week I watched an episode of Super Soul Sunday. Oprah was interviewing Rob Bell author of What We Talk About When We Talk About God. During the interview, he mentioned two words that describe perfectly what makes me write. The first is a German word GRENZBEGRIFF: “That which is real but beyond analysis and description.” I believe all creative people follow something that is real to them, but beyond analysis and description.

The second word that is now one of my favorites, is the ancient Hebrew word, RUACH, which means: “an explosive, expansive, surprising, creative energy that surges through all things.” Oh, how I’ve tried to describe that surge of energy that is with me every waking moment, and often in my dreams. It’s that energy that urges me to follow the flow, be bold and write.

Have you experienced a reality that is beyond description and a surge of energy that calls to you be bold and follow your dreams? If so, be bold and go for it!

© Lucinda Sage-Midgorden
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lucinda-Sage-Midgorden/355082320545

Our Collective Ego

“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.” – Eckhart Tolle

“Words are things. You can put some words together and make people want to go to war. Put together another few words and make them long for peace. Words are so important, and this is what you take to God. Words.” – Maya Angelou

“The past is not the future unless you live there.” – Tony Robbins

When I was younger, I thought there was some force “out there” that I’d have to conquer so I could live a happy life. The battle ground was my mind and the weapons were the contradictory voices in my head. The conflicting voices said things like, “You can be anything you put your mind to. There isn’t enough abundance to go around, so you’ll have to fight for everything you get. There’s something inherently wrong with you. You are greatly loved. There will never be peace in the world.” On and on my thoughts swirled until I was weary of the contradictions. That’s when I intensified my spiritual quest. One of the most significant things I learned was about how the ego works. It’s a small, sneaky part of us that wants to be master over all we think, do and accomplish. But, the ego, while necessary to function in the physical world, is not the sum total of who we are.

After years of study, everything I’d learned about my ego was summed up beautifully by Eckhart Tolle in his best selling book A New Earth. The ego takes things personally and feels the need to defend itself, it likes to complain and find reasons to resent what it believes have been attacks on itself, it has to be right, it buys into the illusion that we are separate, and finally it uses the “us” VS “them” mentality. As I read the book, I could see how my ego had controlled my life and that I could break it’s control. What a relief it was to stop listening to it and follow the guidance of the larger part of me that is connected to God.

It hasn’t been easy, getting out of the clutches of my ego, but it has been worth it. The voices in my head are quieter now and I can feel my connection to the Divine and to everyone else much more clearly. What a relief. Until the outer world came crashing in around me.

Now, I’m not saying that what’s going on in the outside world has shaken my faith in my connectedness to all that exists. On the contrary, what’s been happening the last several years has confirmed that we’re connected, because I can’t ignore the pain, blame, struggle for supremacy and adherence to deeply held beliefs like “we’re right and they’re wrong and the past was better than our present,” that are the battle cries of those who live completely in their egos. You all know the differing points of view. I’m not the only one who’s tired of the conflict. I see these conflicts as a call to let go of the old ways and create something new.

Here’s what came to me today in my meditation. We’re going through a collective ego cleansing. We’re reaching critical mass. Millions of people are awakening to the fact that they’ve been slaves to their egos. Those who choose not to wake up, are fighting hard to keep conditions the same. They want the political, financial, national and religious structures to continue as they have for centuries. However, all the structures that don’t serve our awakening are crumbling and new structures will be built in their place.

The thing is this, everything we react to shows us patterns in ourselves that we need to dismantle. So, when I get emails that say, “We need to FIGHT…whatever it may be,” I say, “I don’t want to FIGHT, or RESIST the opposition. I want to be FOR healing, peace and to finding creative solutions to our problems.” And the way I do that is to ask the Divine: “How can I serve the collective awakening?”

Sometimes I think I should be out there in one of those arenas working toward a better world. But, the answer I keep getting is to write this blog and my novel. To keep teaching theatre classes that help my students take a deeper look into what it means to be human, and to encourage creativity in any way I can. That’s how I’m serving now. What I do isn’t very flashy, or important, but as we say in the theatre, “There are no small parts, only small actors.” Since I don’t want to be a small actor, I’ll do my best to make the most of my small contributions to putting our collective ego in its place.

Have you thought about how you are meant to serve? It may be something simple, yet vital, like raising well adjusted, loving children, or being a good friend. It might be creative like planting a beautiful garden that brightens the neighborhood, or writing poetry that touches people’s hearts. What it is doesn’t matter. What matters is that we each embrace our purpose, each day. Over the years, our purpose will change. That’s okay. Nothing ever stays the same, even though we’d like it to.

What is your vision of a better world and how can you bring it about?

© Lucinda Sage-Midgorden 2013