Family Time

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“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. ‘To know all is to forgive all.’” ~ Dale Carnegie

“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths.* It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it.” ~ M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled. *The first of the “Four Noble Truths” which Buddha taught was “Life is suffering.”

It’s Sunday night. Movie night. The popcorn is popped. Everyone in the family is gathered around the TV waiting for the movie to start. The lion roars, the trumpets sound, or the globe, mountain, or Torch Lady appears and we settle in for a night of entertainment and conversation. This is a movie we’ve wanted to see for a long time, but living in a small town with no movie theater, we’ve had to wait. But now the credits roll and we get to satisfy our curiosity about this most talked about movie.

With two working parents who are also gone two or three nights a week, this is the one time we get to enjoy an activity together. We pay attention to the opening scenes because we know that Dad and Mom are going to ask us questions during the commercial break.”Which character do you like so far? What do you think is going to happen next?” Oh, back to the movie watching carefully so we can answer the next set of questions or ask questions of our own.

Watching and discussing movies together as a family was just as important as eating dinner together. Like other families, we occasionally went camping, played games, and watched important world events together. But movie nights were the most fun because unlike going to see a movie in the theater, we didn’t have to wait until it was over to talk about what was happening and what we thought was going to be the outcome of the story. The last question of the night was usually about the moral of the story. Why was the story written? What message did the storytellers want the audience to go away with?

It wasn’t until I was in high school or college that I understood the reason my parents instituted movie night. They wanted us to see lots of characters in lots of different situations, so we could figure out why the characters made the decisions they did and evaluate whether they made good ones or not. And did any of the characters or situations remind us of people we knew, or situations we’d been in? They were teaching us about human nature.

Families doing things together, no matter what the activity is, in my opinion, is very important. It’s where we learn to get along with others. But not all families are healthy. I was extremely fortunate to have parents who took the job of raising us seriously. 

Sometimes I despair that there are too many children having to fend for themselves emotionally and physically. As a teacher I saw lots of young people in distress because they didn’t have supportive parents. And I wonder if families spending time together is something that’s fading away. I wonder this because a teacher friend I talked to some time back told me that she was appalled by the number of her elementary students who shared in class that when they got home from school they went into their room to play games or watch videos and movies on their computers. When it was dinner time, they went down got their dinner and went back to their rooms to eat it. Each person in the family went their separate ways to enjoy the evening’s entertainment. We agreed that was tragic. How could those children learn to interact with others? How did they learn to make friends? I had a parent tell me once that she was relying on me to “fix her teenager”. I had to bite my tongue so that I didn’t say, “You’re the parent and spend more time with your child than I do. I see them maybe six hours a week.” 

It’s my feeling that parents like the one above, don’t know how to teach their children good skills, maybe because they had absent parents themselves. And even though the good and great teachers try to fill the gap for students who don’t have a wonderful home life, they can’t give as much attention as they would like because they have a lot of students to manage. 

Having absent parents might be part of the reason we’re feeling more disconnected from one another. Studies show that loneliness is at an all time high in the U.S. And all the media outlets keep reiterating that our country is more divided than ever. So how do we reverse those trends? How do we value each other better?

I don’t have children, but if I did, family movie or TV night would be part of what we do together as a family. I guess, for the most part, we teach our children as we were taught. I can say, I would not want to be one of those parents who doesn’t know how to show love or even be curious about what’s happening in my children’s lives. I would want to be like my parents and attend their school functions and sit around the dinner table sharing about what happened to us during the day.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my family of origin lately because my Mom’s health is failing. She’s in hospice and though her death is not imminent, I can’t really have a conversation with her because she’s got dementia, which is sad because we used to have great conversations about the books we were reading, or the movies we’d enjoyed. I’d tell Mom what was going on at school, then when I started working we talk about that. After she and Dad retired, she’d tell me about their travels, or the new friends she and Dad made. So it’s sad not to be able to talk with her anymore.

I know that she will die sometime soon and I’ve been remembering a lot of great times we enjoyed together as a family. One of the great things about Mom and Dad was that they welcomed our friends when we invited them to visit. This was often on a Sunday after church occurrence when my brother and I were in high school. We’d invite our friends over for Sunday dinner, then go tell Mom and she’d always say with a big smile on her face, “Oh, I’m not sure we have enough food. We’ll have to stop at the store.” Those meals were so fun. We’d sit around the table talking about current events, or problems we were having with someone at school, or just anything that was on our minds. Mom and Dad listened and we’d discuss the different aspects of the situations. Sometimes my parents would admit they didn’t have the answers, and that was the thing my friends loved the most about them. They didn’t try to know it all. My friends told me I had the “cool” parents. 

I did have cool parents who loved us so much that they wanted us to go out into the world knowing a little bit about how to get along with people. I will always be grateful to them for that. Maybe that’s why I feel compelled to pass what I learned from them along to others. If we can learn to stop trying to protect ourselves and accept those around us, maybe we can build strong relationships and become happier. There are books and teachers who are encouraging us to open up and make connections with others.

I recommend a book that might help you become happier and more connected. It’s Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey. I’ve read it and it’s a practical guide to becoming happier by paying attention to four aspects of our lives, family, friendships, work, and faith. Many of us neglect one or more of these aspects.

I know, it’s challenging to build deeper relationships with our friends and family. We won’t always agree on everything and that’s scary. We have to be committed to working stuff out and just loving our friends and family in spite of our differences. Sometimes we want to bury ourselves in work so we don’t have to think of the pain we’re suffering at home. Sometimes we feel so alone it’s hard to believe that there are friends and a divine being that cares about us. But if we want to be happy we need to examine our lives and see if we can identify places within ourselves that need healing. 

I use stories as one tool to do that because stories are about every aspect of human experience and I can always find characters who are going through what I’m experiencing and I can get some tools and gain hope that I can learn valuable lessons as well. Analyzing stories is not the only tool to help us heal. It’s just a fun one. 

What I hope this post will encourage you to do is to make an investment in yourself and build a happier life by healing yourself and reaching out to build strong relationships with others. Life is short. How do you want to experience it?

Blessings,

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2024

The Space Between Time

Have you ever experienced life shattering events? Yeah, most of us have. In THE SPACE BETWEEN TIME, Jenna Holden gets slammed by her fiancé walking out, her mother’s untimely death, and losing her job all in one week. But she receives unexpected help when she finds her 3-times great-grandmother’s journals and begins the adventure of a lifetime. This started off as a very different book. It’s amazing where the muses take you. You can get a hard copy of TSBT at Amazon, or at your favorite ebook retailer. Now back to working on book two.

Best Book Awards: American Book Fest 2017 winners and finalists: http://www.americanbookfest.com/generalfiction/fantasyscifi.html

Rita Gau’s review: Recently, I finished reading a book titled, The Space Between Time, by my friend, Lucinda Sage-Midgorden. It was the best book I’ve read in a long time. It kept me captivated, which I have not experienced from any other book for the past couple of years. I loved all the little gems of meaningful and what I call spiritual statements throughout the book. You know, those words that make you pause and think, and sometimes have an “aha” from or a deeper awareness about something. And it was entertaining and informational about some of the history in the 1800’s and yet, contemporary. It also reminded me of the importance of “living in community” and how important it is to help one another and be engaged in your community. Thank you Lucinda for a wonderful, entertaining and captivating book!

Story-Power on Patreon and Apple Subscriptions

I’m so passionate about stories that I created the Story-Power podcast, Patreon Community, and Apple subscription so I’d have an excuse to talk story with other story lovers. Patreon is $5 a month for content not found on the Story-Power podcast, or on my Sage Woman Blog. The Apple subscription is $3 a month, again with content not found on the Story-Power podcast. If you’re passionate about stories, and want to talk about what you’ve learned from your favorites, come join me at patreon.com/StoryPower. Or, you can add the subscription on Apple podcast where Story-Power is published.

PodMatch

If you are a podcaster, or have a message or fantastic product you want to share with the world, I encourage you to check out PodMatch. I call them a dating service for podcasters. Use the affiliate link and tell them, Lucinda sent you. Then contact me so we can set up a Story-Power chat.

Story Lessons: Fear

This post contains affiliate links.

“Stories are our primary tools of learning and teaching, the repositories of our lore and legends. They bring order into our confusing world. Think about how many times a day you use stories to pass along data, insights, memories or common-sense advice.” ~ Edward Miller, founder of Edward Elementary, illustrator and product designer

“The purpose of the storyteller is not to tell you how to think, but to give you questions to think upon.” ~ Brandon Sanderson, fantasy and science fiction writer

I’ve been thinking about writing a book about all the practical things I’ve learned from analyzing stories. I know what you’re thinking, “She’s not finished with the novel she’s been working on. Why is she starting another book?” I’ve asked myself that question too, but sometimes an idea burns in my head and to clear it out, I have to write it down. I mean, after all, stories are the oldest teaching tool of humanity and we might just need them more than ever now. So, I will be using this blog to develop essays to include in my new book, which at present is titled: Story Lessons. Another better title may present itself, but until then …

So to the latest lesson: Barry and I have been watching all three Star Wars trilogies and something stood out for me as we watched the first three movies, starting with The Phantom Menace. The main character of that trilogy is Anakin Skywalker, who later becomes Darth Vader, and he’s a perfect example of how unaddressed fear can ruin your life. We first meet him when he’s a precocious child. He knows he’s different than almost everyone around him. Even though he’s a slave and lives with his mother, his owner relies on him to repair the things he sells. So, on the one hand, he values Anakin, on the other he has power over him as well. Anakin and his mother have little hope of escape.

As a former actor/director, I’m always asking why a character feels the way they do, or why they make the decisions they make? In Anakin’s case, I think he’s deeply afraid. Maybe he’s afraid of losing his mother, or not having control over his life, or maybe he’s afraid of feeling that he’s different from everyone else. He doesn’t know why he feels afraid. He hasn’t had anyone to help him figure that out. So his fear grows. But he doesn’t want anyone to know he feels it. He buries it deep inside thinking it will eventually go away. 

Since I started studying theatre, I decided it would be good to take a few psychology classes and I still read articles in psychology magazines so I can keep up with the latest research. Just as a way to give my suppositions about Anakin substantiation, I looked up the emotional effects and symptoms of fear and found the site, verywellmind.com. I found this definition that perfectly describes Anakin Skywalker’s reactions to his fear throughout the three movies. 

“One aspect of anxiety disorders can be a tendency to develop a fear of fear.3National Alliance on Mental Illness. Anxiety Disorders. Where most people tend to experience fear only during a situation that is perceived as scary or threatening, those who live with anxiety disorders may become afraid that they will experience a fear response. They perceive their fear responses as negative and go out of their way to avoid those responses.

A phobia is a twisting of the normal fear response. The fear is directed toward an object or situation that does not present a real danger. Though you recognize that the fear is unreasonable, you can’t help the reaction. Over time, the fear tends to worsen as the fear of fear response takes hold.”

Anakin is drawn to Padmé/Queen Amidala from the time he first meets her. When he grows up, they fall in love. They marry in secret, because he’s a Jedi padawan and not allowed to marry. But when she becomes pregnant, he dreams that she dies in childbirth. He not only dreams it but feeds his phobia about losing her in conversations with her and with his “friend” Chancellor Palpatine, who is secretly a Sith Lord. My contention is that Palpatine feeds Anakin’s fear to accomplish his own ends. Unfortunately, Padmé does die, but it’s not from complications from childbirth. She dies of a broken heart because Anakin believes what Palpatine/Sidious has told him, that the dark side is stronger and will protect Padmé. When she realizes he’s turned away from the light, she feels betrayed.

But here’s the thing, as Frank Herbert wrote in Dune, “Fear is the mind killer.” In Dune, Paul Atreides is taught to master his fear, whereas for some reason, Anakin is unable to so. It’s not that the Jedi don’t try to teach him, but they have no idea what Palpatine is doing to Anakin. 

The consequences for Anakin of not being able to manage his fear is that eventually he is unable to tell the difference between a truth and a lie. 

In the book, Power vs. Force, David R. Hawkins, M.D. Ph.D., chronicles his studies into human energy calibration, Hawkins points out that anyone calibrating 200 or below is unable to tell the difference between a truth and a lie. By contrast people like Jesus and Buddha calibrate at about 700. So Anakin’s fear and developing phobias rob him of the high vibration of the Jedi and make him unable to see that Palpatine is the real threat.

That was all really technical but it leads me to share what I learned from watching these movies this time around. 

Yesterday morning as I was going through my routine of meditating and writing in my journal, I heard Barry opening and closing file cabinet drawers in his office. I knew he was preparing our tax documents and immediately I felt anxiety. But I had just read the Course in Miracles Experiment lesson for the day. Pam Grout always has a quote at the beginning of each lesson and the quote for yesterday was by Craig Ferguson, “Like all bullies, fear wants you to believe it’s tougher than it really is.” That was exactly the quote and lesson I needed at that time. 

We all tell ourselves stories about all kinds of things, but mostly about the past. My anxiety about tax filing goes way back to a time when Barry and I had to pay substantial taxes every year and since we didn’t have loads of money, coming up with the payment was always stressful. But that’s in the past. For several years, now that we both have home based businesses, we’ve enjoyed tax refunds. Why was I allowing that old story to make me feel anxious? It’s not true anymore. I can get rid of that old story and work to see my situation as it truly is instead of how it used to be.

There are lots of tools to help us get rid of our anxiety. Meditation and journaling are two that I use. Checking in with friends and family who tell us the truth is another one. Or we can simply remind ourselves that there is another way to look at our circumstances. What we think is going to happen, may not. In fact it’s a good idea to wait and see all the possibilities.

Stories of all kinds still have lessons to teach me, even ones I’ve seen many times. I love that I can watch a character go through their ups and downs and learn from their experiences instead of living through them myself, like I did with Anakin’s journey.

Thanks Mom and Dad for using stories to teach me important lessons about what it means to be a human being.

Welcome new followers. Thanks for reading, liking, and commenting. I hope you are doing well and enjoying this new year.

Blessings,

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2024

The Space Between Time

Have you ever experienced life shattering events? Yeah, most of us have. In THE SPACE BETWEEN TIME, Jenna Holden gets slammed by her fiancé walking out, her mother’s untimely death, and losing her job all in one week. But she receives unexpected help when she finds her 3-times great-grandmother’s journals and begins the adventure of a lifetime. This started off as a very different book. It’s amazing where the muses take you. You can get a hard copy of TSBT at Amazon, or at your favorite ebook retailer. Now back to working on book two.

Best Book Awards: American Book Fest 2017 winners and finalists: http://www.americanbookfest.com/generalfiction/fantasyscifi.html

Rita Gau’s review: Recently, I finished reading a book titled, The Space Between Time, by my friend, Lucinda Sage-Midgorden. It was the best book I’ve read in a long time. It kept me captivated, which I have not experienced from any other book for the past couple of years. I loved all the little gems of meaningful and what I call spiritual statements throughout the book. You know, those words that make you pause and think, and sometimes have an “aha” from or a deeper awareness about something. And it was entertaining and informational about some of the history in the 1800’s and yet, contemporary. It also reminded me of the importance of “living in community” and how important it is to help one another and be engaged in your community. Thank you Lucinda for a wonderful, entertaining and captivating book!

Story-Power on Patreon and Apple Subscriptions

I’m so passionate about stories that I created the Story-Power podcast, Patreon Community, and Apple subscription so I’d have an excuse to talk story with other story lovers. Patreon is $5 a month for content not found on the Story-Power podcast, or on my Sage Woman Blog. The Apple subscription is $3 a month, again with content not found on the Story-Power podcast. If you’re passionate about stories, and want to talk about what you’ve learned from your favorites, come join me at patreon.com/StoryPower. Or, you can add the subscription on Apple podcast where Story-Power is published.

PodMatch

If you are a podcaster, or have a message or fantastic product you want to share with the world, I encourage you to check out PodMatch. I call them a dating service for podcasters. Use the affiliate link and tell them, Lucinda sent you. Then contact me so we can set up a Story-Power chat.

The Living Helping the Dead

 

This post contains affiliate links

Tina is passionate about being a “Ghost Helper.” Her mission is to teach the living how to help the dead. She wants to empower everyone to help any ghost they may find. Tina says that this is the compassion we will all want for ourselves. She urges everyone to use The Crossing Over Prayer™ on GhostHelpers.com and in “The Crossing Over Prayer Book©”

Tina has studied metaphysics all of her life, gaining insight into yhe mystical world of magic and spirituality. She is the author of eight books on metaphysics. Her writing comes from an intense desire to know and understand the hard science behind the unseen world of action and reaction combined with a sincere desire to share this understanding with other knowledge seekers.

Ghosts just seem to find Tina. It’s as if she’s a “ghost magnet.” In every single case, Tina says that these ghosts are looking for help and they tell her why they didn’t cross over; they tell her their stories. She assists these souls by crossing them into the Heaven World. When a psychic only connects to a dead person, the ghost does not receive the critical assistance they desperately need.

Her lifelong studies into the deeper meaning of events and actions were further enhanced by the experiences of a dynamic 20-year career in the Navy, working for the U.S. Submarine Force, retiring at the Commander level. Commander Erwin found the Navy to be a tremendous schoolhouse in which to study all the facets of behavior and karma, from the worst to the finest levels of humanity. She has a Master’s Degree in Business and Management. 

You can find all of her books on AMAZON.COM

You can learn more about Tina at TinaErwin.com and GhostHelpers.com, LinkedIn, YouTube

Included in The Crossing Over Prayer Book

The Crossing Over Prayer for Suicide

The Healing Prayer After Suicide

The Crossing Over Prayer for Victims of Mass Violence

The Crossing Over Prayer for Miscarried Babies

The Crossing Over Prayer for Organ Donors

The Prayer for Clearing Spaces

The Prayer to Clear the Energy of Fire

The Prayer to clear and Bless Crystal and all Stones

The Prayer of Peace

The End of War Prayer

The Prayer for Victims

The Prayer for Healing Past Life Trauma

The Prayer to request Angels

The Healing Prayer

The Prayer for Healing Cancer

Other Books available on her website.

Soul Evolution: Past Lives and Karmic Ties

Karma and Frequency

Ghost Stories from the Ghosts’ Point of View Vol. 1

Ghost Stories from the Ghosts’ Point of View Vol. 2

Ghost Stories from the Ghosts’ Point of View Vol. 3

Lightworker’s Guide to Everyday Karma

Lightworker’s Guide to Healing Grief

PodMatch

This episode is brought to you by PodMatch, the dating service for podcasters. They introduced me to Tina Erwin, and I’m so glad they did. I hope you’ve enjoyed our conversation and remember that if you have a podcast or something to share with the world, check out PodMatch at my affiliate link at PodMatch and tell them Lucinda sent you.

Story-Power on Patreon and Apple Subscriptions

I’m so passionate about stories that I created the Story-Power podcast, Patreon Community, and Apple subscription so I’d have an excuse to talk story with other story lovers. Patreon is $5 a month for content not found on the Story-Power podcast, or on my Sage Woman Blog. The Apple subscription is $3 a month, again with content not found on the Story-Power podcast. If you’re passionate about stories, and want to talk about what you’ve learned from your favorites, come join me at patreon.com/StoryPower. Or, you can add the subscription on Apple podcast where Story-Power is published.

Life-Changing Experiences

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“What can a pencil do for all of us? Amazing things. It can write transcendent poetry, uplifting music, or life-changing equations; it can sketch the future, give life to untold beauty, and communicate the full-force of our love and aspirations.” ~ Adam Braun

As you may have guessed by my first post this year, I’m in a bit of a funk. Barry and I got Covid the first week of the month. It took us another week or so to get over that fully. That was the beginning of feeling unsettled.

Than my brother, who is the executor of my parent’s estate, told us that he had to sign the paperwork for my 91 year old mother to enter hospice care. I’ve decided not to spend the money to see her before she dies, which makes me feel two ways. She’s got dementia, so she isn’t really able to carry on a conversation. She might not even know I’m there. On the other hand, I want to sit with her and hold her hand. I know it may be for myself only, but I’d like to say a proper goodbye. 

While my emotions have been going up and down, I decided to finish reading a book by one of my Story-Power guests, The Color of the Elephant by Christine Herbert. Her episode aired in August of 2023. She sent me a copy of her book about a week before we recorded our conversation, but I only got a couple of chapters in before we chatted. Then life got in the way and I set it aside. However, I felt bad that I didn’t finish it, so I picked it up again and I’m so glad I did. It’s about Christine’s time in the Peace Corps in Zambia from 2004 – 2006. At the end of the book, Mr. Chisala, Christine’s counterpart for the projects she’s been working on in her village, told her that one day she would write a book about her time in Zambia, the people who became her friends, and those she worked with. I love that Christine never holds back from her foibles and mistakes. In this case, she decides not to tell Mr. Chisala that writing is torture for her and she has no intention of writing a book about her experiences. But there I was holding her book filled with so much beauty, heartbreak, and honesty in my hands. I cried because it takes courage to lay bare the deepest emotions about our most profound experiences. That’s something Christine does so well in her book and what I need to learn how to do here in this blog and in my books.

One of my favorite chapters in the book was about Christine  paying for a bus ticket and then sitting in the bus waiting five hours for the bus driver to come out and get underway. He was on African Time. The heat, the waiting, the worry that she wouldn’t get to her meeting on time, finally got to her. She went into the ticket office to get her money back only to be told, “No refunds”. That set her off and she began to not only argue with the man, but when he tried to leave, she chased him demanding that he give her money back or she’d kill him. (American for: I’m so angry I want to punch you in the face.) As you can imagine, she caused quite a ruckus chasing him around the yard. Eventually one of the spectators handed her a fistful of bills, which only amounted to about $1.50 US, and begged her to take it and not kill the ticket taker. That’s when she realized how ridiculous she was being, but on top of that how her white skin gave her privileges that she didn’t feel she deserved. There’s more to that story, but I hope you’ll buy the book and discover it for yourself. There is much more love and beauty in the book than events like that one, but I was impressed that Christine would allow us to see her at her worst. I don’t do that in my writing and she has convinced me that I need to.

Here is the link for Christine’s Story-Power episode, “The Peace Corps, Chocolate, and Books”. I hope you’ll listen to it again, or for the first time.

I’ve been struggling with why I’m feeling so unsettled beyond my Mom’s imminent death and I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve been producing Story-Power for three and a half years, and I don’t think my influence goes very far. That didn’t use to bother me, but lately, I would like to have people subscribe to my Patreon Community, or make comments here so we can have conversations about stories, or what I’ve written. But all I get is crickets. I go back and forth about whether or not what I’m doing is worthwhile. In December, I felt like I need to cultivate friendships with some of my podcast guests and pay attention to the friends I already have more closely. Doing that takes time and effort not to mention a new mindset. I love being quiet and invisible at home, but I need to be okay with making time to email and/or call my friends to get caught up. I need to be okay with being “seen”.

I feel that it’s time to make some changes, but I’m not sure what those changes will be yet. In a way that makes me anxious. We’d all like to know what the future holds. I’ll have to be comfortable with uncertainty for now.

Thanks for reading, liking and occasionally commenting. I hope your New Year is going well.

Blessings,

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2024

The Space Between Time

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards.

Have you ever experienced life shattering events? Yeah, after the last few years, most of us have. In The Space Between Time, Jenna Holden gets slammed by her fiancé walking out, her mother’s untimely death, and losing her job all in one week. But she receives unexpected help when she finds her three-times great-grandmother’s journals and begins the adventure of a lifetime.

The Space Between Time is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords and for Kindle at Amazon, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news when the audiobook version and sequel are published.

Story-Power on Patreon and Apple Subscriptions

I’m so passionate about stories that I created the Story-Power podcast, Patreon Community, and Apple subscription so I’d have an excuse to talk story with other story lovers. Patreon is $5 a month for content not found on the Story-Power podcast, or on my Sage Woman Blog. The Apple subscription is $3 a month, again with content not found on the Story-Power podcast. If you’re passionate about stories, and want to talk about what you’ve learned from your favorites, come join me at patreon.com/StoryPower. Or, you can add the subscription on Apple podcast where Story-Power is published.

PodMatch

If you are a podcaster, or have a message or fantastic product you want to share with the world, I encourage you to check out PodMatch. I call them a dating service for podcasters. Use the affiliate link and tell them, Lucinda sent you. Then contact me so we can set up a Story-Power chat.

Some Pain is so Deep

Photo by Hakeem James Hausley on Pexels.com

This post contains affiliate links.

“He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.” ~ Aeschylus

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.” ~ Walter Anderson

For quite some time I have wanted to put all of my Story-Power episodes up on YouTube. Since I don’t publish the video portion of my conversations, I have had to create visuals to go with the episodes. But that’s just background information for what I really want to write about today.

As I’ve listened to past episodes, I’ve come across guests who have suffered or discovered extreme amounts of horrific things their parents, grandparents, or other ancestors went through. To make sense of these situations, they wrote books about what they experienced or discovered. Sometimes writing is a really good way to figure out what we’re thinking and feeling. However, I did learn that some pain is so deep it’s impossible to heal.

Some of the episodes that stand out as examples of this, are Ashley Kalagian Blunt’s episode 59. Many of her ancestors died in the Armenian Holocaust, which took place during WW I and is not even mentioned in many history books. Her book, My Name is Revenge, explores how the denial of this inhumane situation affected some groups of Armenian refugees and how they attempted to bring those horrific events to light. Or Lauren Hunter (episode 57, book Leaving Christian Science:10 Stories of New Faith in Jesus Christ) shares how she is recovering from a toxic religious cult, or Lino Martinez, (episode 84, podcast, A Little Less Fear) recovering from severe health problems and discovering he was transgender, or Shirley Novack (episode 90, book The Story of …) discovering the dark past of her immigrant grandfather and how he mistreated her father and uncle, or, finally, Max Friedman, (episode 91, book Painful Joy) who is the child of Holocaust survivors and how their trauma affected his family.

Listening to all of the stories of my guests and how they have dealt with the challenges and tragedies they have faced was kind of like a magnet for fictional stories with similar themes to come into my awareness. One story that we just finished watching is Echo, an MCU series with several characters who suffered deep traumas. How they cope, or don’t cope with the traumas is fascinating to me. 

Maya Lopez is the main character in Echo, but her character was introduced in the MCU series, Hawkeye, which Barry and I watched over Christmas vacation. When we meet Maya, she is connected to the man behind all of the underworld activities in New York City. Later, in Echo, we find out his reach is much further than that. Little by little we discover that Maya has suffered one tragedy after another. She was born deaf, her mother died in a terrible car accident when she was quite young, maybe seven or eight. She was in the car and her right leg was injured so badly that it was amputated below the knee. Her father takes her away to New York City, where he has a promising job unbeknownst to the family with Kingpin the underworld boss. That is a heart wrenching situation that separates Maya from her grandparents, and other family in Oklahoma.

During the events in Hawkeye, Maya discovers that Kingpin, the man she thought of as her Uncle and mentor, ordered the murder of her father. This betrayal sets up the events of Echo. As that series begins, Maya is traveling home to Oklahoma to try to understand everything that has happened to her. She thinks she killed Kingpin, who’s name is Fisk. But, unfortunately he’s not dead and the audience discovers along with Maya that his operation stretches to her hometown in Oklahoma. 

There are several things that make Maya and her journey unique. First, of all are her disabilities, which the actress really lives with. Second, Maya is of Cherokee descent, and unbeknownst to her, she is part of a long line of very powerful women. Third, as the coming disaster begins to unfold, Maya gets to make a choice, continue to seek revenge, or she can heal old relationships and embrace her Cherokee heritage to find a different solution, which is the choice she makes. 

I love that we get to hear Kingpin/Fisk’s story of why he felt so driven to become the powerful and feared underworld boss he is. This is a key part of the story. He’s just as wounded as Maya. That’s why he connected to her and made her his prodigy in the first place. It’s at this point that Maya makes her choice. She’ll do what she can to save her town, family, and friends from being destroyed. However instead of using violence, she uses her new found powers to heal Fisk, while her uncle and cousin stop Fisk’s team from carrying out his plans to wreak havoc at the Powwow. I wonder what will happen if the series continues, which I hope it does, because I love that we get to learn some of the traditions, myths, and culture of the Cherokee Native Americans.

That’s just one example of stories with deeply wounded characters that I’ve read or watched lately. One thing I love about stories is that when we hear, read, or watch them, we don’t have to experience what’s going on with the people, or characters to understand and maybe empathize with them. It’s kind of like the stories give us a little distance from our own experiences and give us a chance to examine what we’ve gone through without all the deep emotions attached.

That’s why I love stories so much. I get to live other lives and experience new places. It’s fun to imagine what choices I’d make if I were living inside the stories. 

I recently got a list of new stories to add to my TBR, or TBW lists. It’s always nice to have a large list of stories to choose from. If I finish a book and don’t know what I’m going to read next, I get anxious. And as far as watching, I love to find new stories to contemplate, as well as watch old stories to see what new things I can learn from them.

Here’s to a wonderful year of story discovery for each of you.

Blessings,

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2024

The Space Between Time

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards.

Have you ever experienced life shattering events? Yeah, after the last few years, most of us have. In The Space Between Time, Jenna Holden gets slammed by her fiancé walking out, her mother’s untimely death, and losing her job all in one week. But she receives unexpected help when she finds her three-times great-grandmother’s journals and begins the adventure of a lifetime.

The Space Between Time is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords and for Kindle at Amazon, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news when the audiobook version and sequel are published.

Story-Power on Patreon and Apple Subscription

I’m so passionate about stories that I created the Story-Power podcast, Patreon Community, and Apple subscription so I’d have an excuse to talk story with other story lovers. Patreon is $5 a month for content not found on the Story-Power podcast, or on my Sage Woman Blog. The Apple subscription is $3 a month, again with content not found on the Story-Power podcast. If you’re passionate about stories, and want to talk about what you’ve learned from your favorites, come join me at patreon.com/StoryPower. Or, you can add the subscription on Apple podcast where Story-Power is published.

PodMatch

If you are a podcaster, or have a message or fantastic product you want to share with the world, I encourage you to check out PodMatch. I call them a dating service for podcasters. Use the affiliate link and tell them, Lucinda sent you. Then contact me so we can set up a Story-Power chat.