Food, Family, and Friends

Harvest Feast

“When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.” ~ Tecumseh

“Cooking is all about people. Food is maybe the only universal thing that really has the power to bring everyone together. No matter what culture, everywhere around the world, people get together to eat.” ~ Guy Fieri

A week, from the day I write this, it will be Thanksgiving in the U.S. I’ve been thinking for quite some time about which foods makes me feel good, which foods don’t, and how it connects us with our friends and family. Food is much more than just fuel to keep our bodies going. There is something spiritual about it too. That’s why we use it in our rituals, ceremonies and celebrations.

I’m an adequate cook not an exceptional one because I’ve almost always thought of meal preparation as a chore. Since I’m going through a kind of personal revolution, I’d like to change my thinking about cooking. I want to enjoy cooking. I admire people who put so much love into the dishes they create that just eating it is a spiritual experience. When I cook the food keeps hunger away but that’s not necessarily the best reason to eat.

Barry and I have been watching Native America on PBS. In the first episode they concentrated on one main site, Chaco Pueblo in Northern New Mexico that is estimated to be 13,000 years old. It’s one of the oldest historic sites in the world. At the site they found cylindrical drinking vessels that had remnants of chocolate in them. It is believed that the chocolate, which comes from cacao beans native to South America, was used as a ceremonial drink. I knew there was a reason I love chocolate. This, and other artifacts, was evidence that the people of Chaco traded with native groups in various South American regions. Which proves these ancient civilizations had much more vibrant societies than previously thought. The cultivation of food, not just hunting and gathering, was, of course, extremely important for these ancient people as well. We enjoy the fruits of their development of various crops and farming methods even today.

As I was falling asleep after watching this program, I was thinking of movies like Chocolat, Babette’s Feast, and Like Water for Chocolate, all having to do with the transforming and sometimes even healing power of lovingly prepared food. There are other stories along this same vein of course. In them people are brought together by food, which promotes enjoyment, openness and sometimes even helping to heal relationships. This time of year, particularly, food warms and sustains us through the long dark months.

After all this thinking about the significance of food, I’m ready to break out of my food rut and try some new recipes, and maybe even take a cooking class or two, and do more cooking with Barry. Meal time should be a time to stop work and just enjoy not only the food but the people we eat it with because fellowship is nourishing too.

I plan to take time this holiday season to appreciate my family, friends and the food we prepare and eat together. I hope you do too.

Thanks for reading, liking and commenting. I appreciate it. Happy eating this weekend.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, novel, and is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news on the audiobook version Lucinda is working on. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.

Changing Roles of Woman

Susan B. Anthony

“Because you are women, people will force their thinking on you, their boundaries on you. They will tell you how to dress, how to behave, who you can meet and where you can go. Don’t live in the shadows of people’s judgement. Make your own choices in the light of your own wisdom.” ~ Amitabh Bachchan

“No struggle can ever succeed without women participating side by side with men.” ~ Muhammad Ali Jinnah

The other day as I was working on Time’s Echo, I realized I have too much story to tell in this second book. So, I’m going to need to write a third book in the series.

Time’s Echo is about Jenna’s involvement in the current women’s movement, and Morgan’s decision to become a suffragist in the past. Because of the subject matter and my research, I’ve been thinking about how many decades, and even centuries women have been attempting to gain the same rights that men have.

We modern women often think women throughout the ages suffered suppression at the hands of all men all the time. I don’t think that’s a completely accurate picture. Women have been quite resourceful and found ways to accomplish their goals, and to carve out fulfilling lives for themselves. It’s just that in these modern times the clearly defined roles men and women used to perform have blurred and in a situation like that interpersonal relationships can get messy.

Because of the work I’m doing on my book, I’ve been noticing women characters in the movies I watch and the books I read.

Recently I’ve been hooked on The Cadfael Chronicles mystery series. This series takes place during the 1140s and was written by Ellis Peters. The main character, Cadfael, is a sixty something Welsh monk living at the monastery at Shrewsbury, England on the Welsh border. The interesting thing about him is that before he became a monk, he was a crusader in the Middle East, and a ship’s captain eventually deciding to settle down to a quieter life as a monk.

However, it turns out trouble often finds Cadfael in the form of murders, thefts, or mysteries to be solved. Since he is the monastery herbalist, and has seen many dead and dying people, he’s the perfect person for Hugh Berignar, the Deputy Sheriff, and later in the series Sheriff, of the shire to consult during the investigations of the crimes.

The thing that I have found extremely interesting about this series is the way most of Peter’s female characters manage to get exactly what they want by standing up for themselves. In one of the books, the thief and murderer turns out to be a woman. She’s a sympathetic character, though, because her father never showed her any love. He gave it all to her spoiled brother. She was denied the chance to marry and have a household of her own, because her mother had died and her father insisted she run his household. She loses her position when her brother marries. So she steals a fortune from her father in order to begin a new life. It’s tragic what happens to her. Yet in almost every other book, the women characters take great risks for the people they love.

In book eleven, An Excellent Mystery, a young woman, Julian, takes it upon herself to become her betrothed’s constant companion and nurse, when he comes home from the Crusades severely injured. He is now unable to have children and declares she is free to marry another as he is going to become a monk. Instead of marrying again, she declares that she wishes to become a nun. She rides off with an escort and her father’s blessing. He dies shortly after. Her half-brother doesn’t give her another thought as he takes over management of the manor and the family holdings.

But, a mystery is about to unfold when Brother Humilis, the former Godfrid Marescot and Julian’s betrothed, arrives at Shrewsbury monastery seeking a new community after his former monastery was destroyed by war. He has with him a young monk, Brother Fidelis, who is his constant companion. It is obvious to Cadfael, that Brother Humilis is slowly dying from his wounds.

Not long after his arrival at Shrewsbury, one of Godfrid’s former comrades in war, Nicholas, arrives asking permission of his former commander to court the woman he was betrothed to. He was taken with her when he delivered the news about Godfrid’s terrible injury. However, when he arrives at her former home, he discovers that she has taken the veil. Yet, her convent has also been burned to the ground in the midst of the civil war fighting between the Empress Maud and her cousin King Stephen. So, Nicholas goes in search of her and can’t find a trace. Everyone assumes she’s dead.

Spoiler alert here just in case you choose to read the book, I’m giving away details of the story.

Peters unfolds the mystery of what happened to Julian Cruce in very subtle ways. The day I realized that Brother Fidelis was in fact Julian, I couldn’t wait to see how she would be able to go back to her former life, without being imprisoned and/or excommunicated.

What made this story so satisfying for me was the relationship between Godfrid and Julian. Even though she had met him only once, she felt herself bound to him no matter what injuries he’d suffered. She took the steps necessary to be able to care for him. Through the years of being his nurse and constant companion the two developed a deep and holy kind of love for each other. In the end just before Godfrid’s death, he reveals that he knows who Julian is, and that he loves her. Cadfael, of course, finds a way to help Julian return from the dead to resume her former life.

Julian’s story affected me on a deep emotional level. How many of us would give up everything to risk imprisonment and excommunication for a person we loved? Julian does this with no qualms, knowing that she will probably pay a heavy price. But fortunately, she meets kind and caring men who are on her side and help her make the transition back into her old self. The love she exhibits affects other characters in the book. Everyone who observes the two monks together are affected by their devotion to one another. A fellow monk who’s wife had betrayed him is healed by her selfless act. I’m always touched by such stories. This seemingly insignificant mystery series shows just how complex women are. I love that.

I’m excited to see what will happen in our country now that we have so many women taking their place in our government at the federal and state levels. I hope they will act out of love for our country and humanity.

Thanks for reading, liking and commenting. I appreciate it very much. Have a fabulous weekend.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2018

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, novel, and is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news on the audiobook version Lucinda is working on. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.

Words, Words, Words

Classic Books

“Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly – they’ll go through anything. You read and you’re pierced.” ~ Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

“We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care about what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far.” ~ Swami Vivekananda

I’ve been thinking a great deal about words and their meanings since I had an online conversation the other day with a college friend about a meme she posted. I won’t included the entire meme, but here’s a bit that I took exception to: “Jesus … was anti-wealth, ant-death penalty … was never anti-gay, …”

Now I can’t argue with the sentiment of the meme. It was implying that Jesus loved, where some people hate. No, what I took exception to was the word ANTI. If, as I believe, Jesus was a man of peace and love, then he wouldn’t be anti anything. That’s not to say that he didn’t want to right wrongs or hold people accountable. But the word anti implies combat. You can’t have combat and win peace. Well my friend and I had a lively few exchanges about that in which I related something I learned in a teacher training that expressed my take on the uselessness of combat.

The workshop was on classroom management. That means how we teachers keep our students working and not goofing off. This particular workshop suited my style perfectly. It was on the Fred Jones method, in which the teacher never nags students to do their work. Instead he or she walks around the room while the students are working saying nothing. If a student isn’t doing their work, the teacher simply walks up to them with a neutral face, remains silent, staying until the student gets busy. I loved it and used it in my classroom of high school students to great effect. I rarely got into arguments with my students, because when you argue no one wins.

I decided to end the conversation with my friend when I realized I was not going to change her mind, nor she mine. But the conversation stayed with me. It’s one of lots of little interactions I’ve had lately that have a kind of theme. We get a notion into our heads. If it suits us, whether it’s right or wrong, we cling to it, never question it, and defend it sometimes at a high cost.

I know I’m no different from anyone else. I have things I believe and when my beliefs are challenged, I don’t like it. I feel threatened, and uncomfortable. But, I’m different than other people too, because my father taught me to question everything. Doing that can be very uncomfortable. It feels like my inner anchors are being pulled up and I’m adrift at sea with no land in sight. But, though I’d like to stay comfortably holding my old beliefs, something bigger is tugging at my consciousness telling me to take a closer look at all the things I thought I knew. And at this turbulent time, I feel like I need to be looking for ways to contribute to peace and love rather than hate and fear. Which means I’ve got to do lots of examination of my belief system.

After my online conversation, I remembered a story Wayne Dyer told about Mother Teresa. She was once invited to speak at an anti-war rally. But she responded by saying something like, “I will not attend anything that has anti as it’s intent. If, however, you choose to have a rally for peace, I will be happy to attend.” That story has stayed with me ever since I heard it. I want to always be FOR good causes, not against situations I don’t like. I don’t want to condemn anyone, because as my father also taught me, people who do terrible things are fearful and wounded. I don’t believe we can help them heal by condemning, or shaming them. But we can use a version of the Fred Jones method of discipline. We can stand in front of them in silence.

Another meme I saw this week showed a practical way we can do this. It was about a group of protesters in Turkey, who just stood in complete silence, creating, as the meme states, “a calm curiosity, instead of tension and aggression.” Deep down most of us know the difference between what’s the right thing to do, and what’s wrong. Sometimes we just need someone to remind us.

Another interesting, seemingly unrelated thing happened to me as a result of my contemplations about words and their meanings.

On Halloween morning as I was meditating, I had a huge aha moment. I’ve been struggling writing my second novel. For quite some time I’ve made little progress. I blamed it on working on my friend’s, and my audiobooks, on doing the No Pants Project homework, on teaching my class. But the real reason I was stalled was because my emotions about being a woman, and having to navigate through a world dominated by men are so tangled, that I don’t have the words to express my frustrations, and sometimes even rage over them. The two main characters in my book are part of their respective women’s movements. I’m trying to show how they are affected by their efforts against misogyny. But I’ve had trouble finding the words to express what I want to say. I’m not even sure I know what I want to say.

I do know this, I can’t find the words if I don’t sit down everyday and dig deep into my own emotions on the subject. Sometimes I want everything to just be sunshine and light, but a woman I follow on YouTube, Jenny Burack, said recently, “The dark always serves the light.” We can’t find joy if we don’t struggle with all the negative emotions that we try so hard to suppress. The stories I enjoy the most are ones where the characters face their demons and come out into the light at the end. I have to do that now as I work on this book full of complicated situations and emotions.

Words, words, words. They are such an imperfect way to express concepts and emotions, but they’re almost all we’ve got to communicate with. As a writer, I’ll keep examining their deeper meanings.

Thanks for reading, liking and commenting. I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy your weekend.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2018

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, novel, and is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news on the audiobook version Lucinda is working on. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.

When Kids Talk, Adults Should Listen

Dad and me on Easter Sunday

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I will learn.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

“I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.” ~ Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum

“At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents.” ~ Jane D. Hull

I think learning to communicate is a rather difficult thing to do, especially if you are constantly being told to shut up and listen. We are supposed to learn communication from our parents and siblings. Some parents are fantastic at teaching this skill, others not so much. But I believe most parents want to have clear lines of communication with their children, they just don’t know how because they were never taught.

My youngest sister, Celeste and I have been talking about writing a book about how we learned not only good communication skills, but critical thinking, and understanding human behavior from our conversations about movies and TV with our father.

When I suggested writing this book together, I didn’t have a clear idea of how we could structure it, except to reconstruct the questions Dad used to ask us after watching a movie. This morning it came to me what genius practice my father, and mother too, used to keep the lines of communication open with us even through our teen years.

The secret is: They were truly interested in our opinions.

I was proud of the fact that we had the “cool” parents. Our church, and even school friends liked coming over to our house and hanging out because our parents were interested in them. They wanted to know what they were doing in school, what their passions were, and what their plans were for the future. Our friends loved that they could ask questions on any subject and our parents were willing to talk about the ins and outs of any problem. That wasn’t always the case for them at home.

My father in particular was fantastic at exploring every facet of an issue. He was never afraid to say that he didn’t understand all the implications of a situation. And he and my mother were also willing to tell us when they had been wrong.

I think Celeste will agree with me when I say, I always felt safe in our home, because I was a valued by my parents.

One of the primary ways our parents taught us good communication skills was by watching movies as a family and then discussing them. It was a fun and non-threatening way to examine why people do what they do, how to look at the deeper implications of events and then try to find meaning in them. And it gave all of us an easy way to learn to communicate with respect for every family member’s opinions.

Because our father watched movies with us individually as well, Celeste and I watched the news with him. It wasn’t particularly comfortable watching the news when we were growing up. There was lots of unrest with the Civil Rights movement, and all the violence surrounding that, the Vietnam War and the protests against that, and the women’s movement for equal rights. There were so many opportunities to ask questions and discuss current events with Dad that we learned to think critically about the motivations of politicians, business owners and even everyday people who did not want things to change.

The thing I remember most about having a discussion with my father was the constant questions he would ask himself and me as we watched together. His questions invited both Celeste and me to think and I will be eternally grateful to him for that.

So, Celeste and I are going to write this book. We’re not sure what we’re going to call it yet. It will be part memoir, part guide to talking with and listen to children. I’ve learned from my students that sometimes they have more wisdom than we give them credit for. And as far as Celeste and I are concerned, we can always use more wisdom in the world.

Thanks for reading, liking and commenting. Have a glorious weekend, and if you live in the U.S., don’t forget to vote.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2018

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, novel, and is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news on the audiobook version Lucinda is working on. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.

Writing Prompts from the Universe

Thunderstorm over Corfu

“Without disruptions in life, where would we be?” ~ Sarah Gadon

Just lately I have found inspiration for my second novel from some unusual places.

A week or so ago, my husband and I watched My Mother and Other Strangers on our local PBS station. It’s the story of the narrator remembering his childhood during WW II in Northern Ireland. His reflections are about his mother an English woman living in a foreign land. For the most part she’s lived a happy life, teaching at the local school, helping her husband with his grocery store, and pub. Then the Americans establish a training base for flyers nearby. Rose, the narrator’s mother, is most affected by the arrival of the Americans, though the entire village is disrupted by prejudice and resentment.

In the first episode, the base liaison officer, Captain Dreyfuss meets Rose Coyne on her daily walk by the lake shore. He surprises her by quoting her favorite poet and that more than anything disturbs her efforts to be content in a place she never felt she truly belonged. They meet again when Captain Dreyfuss is looking to establish a relationship with a local person with whom he can work to solve issues pertaining to the base and their presence in the town. His intention is to ask Rose’s husband Michael to be that person, but due to Michael’s schedule, Rose ends up taking on the role.

As I was watching Rose’s awakening to the forgotten parts of herself she left behind when she married, I felt I could understand her. And Rose’s experience prompted me to think about Jenna, Morgan, and the other women in the novel I’m working on in a new way. They are all struggling with being a women in their respective time periods. It’s such a complicated situation for each group of women. I want to show how my characters deal with their personal and political struggles. How does their involvement in their respective women’s movements affect their families, and their communities?

Life can be capricious. Sometimes it’s just a little thing that happens to disrupt our view of ourselves but when it happens it feels like a tsunami. All the pieces of our nicely constructed lives fall apart and we have to decided to rebuild it exactly as it was before, or build something new.

Then last night Barry and I were watching the third season of Shakespeare Uncovered, again on PBS. The segment we watched was about The Merchant of Venice, a play Barry and I did his first year in college. It’s how we began getting to know one another. When the segment was over, Barry said, “I don’t remember us discussing, or stressing all those layers of meaning in our production.” And I had to agree with him. It was forty years ago, after all. But having just directed a Shakespeare play last spring, and taking two classes studying his plays, I have to say that Shakespeare was a master of intertwining many themes into his stories. One director and cast could pick one play, do it every year or so, and still keep learning from it.

And listening to F. Murray Abraham talk to cast members, directors, and scholars about the play, sent me back to my novel. The best stories, in my opinion, have many different themes, like all of Shakespeare’s plays. I guess that’s why we have used stories for centuries to teach our values to our children, define our cultures, and figure out the complexities of life. The stories that survive do that so well that we can still relate to them centuries later.

I want to write a story like that one day. I’ll never be Shakespeare, but if I keep practicing writing, I may write a story that will live on past my lifetime. Is it presumptuous to have such a goal?

Thanks for reading, liking and commenting. I’ll have another post for you next Saturday. Have a fantastic weekend.

Lucinda Sage-MIdgorden © 2018

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, novel, and is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news on the audiobook version Lucinda is working on. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.