When My Life is Falling Apart, How do I Move Forward?

“The past is not the future unless you live there.” – Tony Robbins

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt

The debt ceiling looms. Things look bleak Yet, I’m hopeful. Last week I wrote that I believe this is our phoenix moment. The time when we can create something new. In my opinion the best place to begin creating a new society is to create new lives for ourselves. If you’re happy with your life, that’s great. But, many of the people I know, aren’t satisfied. Instinctively they feel like there’s something more to life than getting up going to work, coming home doing house and yard work, watching TV and making sure the kids do their homework. And many more, their lives are falling apart. How do we create a happier, more fulfilling, loving life?

My answer is this: First we have to make the decision to face ourselves. For a number of years I looked outside myself for the happiness I sought. But, of course, it wasn’t there. It was only when Neale Donald Walsch told me that I was wasting my talent, that the last nudge to take responsibility for my life made me admit it was time to wake up. Oh, for a while I whined that I didn’t know where to begin. But, the books I’d started reading paved a pathway. I knew I had to look into that scary dark place deep inside that I’d been avoiding so long. There I discovered that I’d been holding on to anger and fear and so many other yucky feelings. There were so many times over the years when I felt misunderstood, and dishonored. Having been taught to be a good girl, I stuffed all those negative feelings instead of expressing them. I thought the pain would eventually go away. Instead of evaporating, they grew and festered, bubbling up every so often, making me and everyone around me miserable.

Second, I had to commit to doing the work necessary to heal. To make that commitment we have to believe it’s possible to heal and that we’re not alone in doing so. It means giving up control and surrendering to someone or something larger than ourselves. The small, human part of ourselves can’t see the big picture, but our soul is tapped in and turned on. I believe our soul works in partnership with the Higher Power, or God, or whatever you call it for our benefit.

Third, as we heal, we have to give up the notion that everyone should believe and operate the same way we do. That’s just not possible. The truth is that my ideal life will look different than yours. We each have different talents for a reason. We’re born in different places in the world for a reason. We get to heaven by different paths. We have to allow that to be okay.

Finally, the most important thing to remember is, that you have all the answers inside you. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Your inner guide may be leading you to fascinating and unusual places and pursuits. Embrace them. We need the talents of every single person in the world if we’re going to create a new way of living and interacting with each other. I plan to follow Mozart’s advice. “I pay no attention whatever to anybody’s praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings.” And I’d add I follow my own guidance. But remember this: You can’t hear your inner guidance without clearing out the guck that is clogging up the channel. That’s what we’re faced with right now. Cleaning up the guck. As each of one does her or his part to heal, the world reflects a much happier place to live.

© Lucinda Sage-Midgorden 2013

Published by lucindasagemidgorden

I grew up in the West, the descendant of people traveling by wagon train to a new life. Some of their determination and wanderlust became a part of me. I imagine them sitting around the campfire telling stories, which is why I became first a theatre artist, then a teacher and now a writer. They are all ways of telling stories.

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