“Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
– Franz Kafka
“Freedom lies in being bold.” – Robert Frost
These are two new favorite quotes of mine. When I read the quote by Kafka, I had to admit that for many years, I did edit my soul. I hid my true self. We all do it to a certain extent. We want to be liked, and to fit in. But I think there comes a point when we have to make a choice to be true to ourselves, or follow the crowd.
As I became older and got bolder about sharing my point of view, I was told my ideas were unique. Like most people, I longed to be unique and special, so little by little I blossomed and gained confidence in who I was.
Now that I’m 60 years old, I’m much bolder about sharing what I think. I still temper what I’m saying. Being sensitive enough to know how to state your truth is important. I’ve never been blunt like my youngest sister, even though over the years I’ve envied her “I don’t care what you think of me” attitude. I’ve learned a great lesson from her, however. It doesn’t matter what others think. What matters is what I think of myself. It’s nice to know we’ve influenced each other. She’s softer in her interactions with people and I’m more open about sharing my true self.
One of the ways I share my inner most thoughts is through my “intense obsession”, writing. Sometimes I think it’s not a very important contribution to make to a changing world. Yet, it’s the thing that grasps me. My writing projects are the first thing I think about when I wake in the morning and the last thing I think about upon going to sleep.
When people ask me why I chose to quit my full-time teaching job to write, I struggle with what to tell them. Then this week I watched an episode of Super Soul Sunday. Oprah was interviewing Rob Bell author of What We Talk About When We Talk About God. During the interview, he mentioned two words that describe perfectly what makes me write. The first is a German word GRENZBEGRIFF: “That which is real but beyond analysis and description.” I believe all creative people follow something that is real to them, but beyond analysis and description.
The second word that is now one of my favorites, is the ancient Hebrew word, RUACH, which means: “an explosive, expansive, surprising, creative energy that surges through all things.” Oh, how I’ve tried to describe that surge of energy that is with me every waking moment, and often in my dreams. It’s that energy that urges me to follow the flow, be bold and write.
Have you experienced a reality that is beyond description and a surge of energy that calls to you be bold and follow your dreams? If so, be bold and go for it!
© Lucinda Sage-Midgorden