Suffering is Optional

Calla Lilies
Calla Lilies

“Let us never allow our daily doubts or private fears to blind us to the blessings all around.” –Brendon Burchard

“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.” –Carl Jung

“The only difference between heaven and hell is believing a thought.” –Byron Katie

Sometimes the cosmic tumblers fall into place and the door opens up to a new level of growth and healing. This recently happened for me. For years I’ve been working to clean up all the beliefs that I learned growing up that no longer serve my present life. I thought I was pretty close to being finished with that phase of growing into my full potential, but wouldn’t you know it, I got hit in the face with a big road block that I thought I’d healed these past few years.

About a year ago, I was introduced to The Tapping Solution by Nick Ortner. Tapping is a way to reprogram your brain to release old, long-held beliefs that no longer serve you, or that have been holding you back. It’s also a great way to heal physical conditions or pain that you might be experiencing. I’ve used it off and on since my introduction to it and I’ve had fantastic results.

Last week I saw an invitation on Facebook from Nick to a free webinar about using Tapping to heal money issues and gain true abundance. I knew this was a teaser for a web course, but I decided to attend the webinar anyway. Tapping had been working for me in other areas of my life, why not see if it would help me get over the last humps of my money blocks. I decided not to sign up for the course, however, I did learn great techniques from the webinar. I’m going to use them to take another step on my healing journey.

As we practiced the tapping techniques, I was surprised to find a much larger network of beliefs, some of them long forgotten, about money that have been holding me back. I took the worksheet that Nick so generously gave us for free and began to dismantle those old beliefs. Each day tapping is part of my morning regimen. I record the shifts in my consciousness in my journal, and send Reiki to myself to help speed this process along.

I was reminded about how much suffering I can endure. It’s sad that most of us have learned to bury our pain deep inside and cover it over thinking that’s the best way to deal with it; that if we do that we won’t have to face the pain and suffering ever again. That’s not what happens, though.

I wish I could remember which spiritual teacher said, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” In my case, I’ve been choosing to believe something about my relationship with money that’s not true. And my husband and I have suffered because of those erroneous beliefs.

As I was thinking about this post, I was reminded of the pilot episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine that illustrates so perfectly where I am in my life.

Commander Benjamin Sisko is assigned to clean up a situation in a far outpost of the Federation at a space station, Deep Space Nine. It orbits the planet Bajor. Benjamin has recently lost his wife in a terrible battle. He’s emotionally wounded. When he arrives he finds that the Bajorans are a very spiritual people and their government is run by spiritual leaders. He’s surprised to find one of the leaders, Kai Opaka, has come to inform him that his coming was foretold. He is the long awaited emissary. Of course, he’s skeptical. But when Kai Opaka presents him with the Tear of the Prophet, a mysterious looking orb, and he touches it, he enters an alternate reality where he has conversations with the Prophets. They ask him questions about his life. To his frustration, they take him back, again and again, to the moment of his wife’s death. They’re curious about these images he holds in his consciousness. He asks the Prophets why they keep taking him back to this moment in his life that is so painful. Their answer: “You exist here.” Sisko has been unable to heal after his wife’s death, so he relives the moment he found her, and realizes he can’t save her. The pain is so great, he can’t get past it. It’s in that confrontation with the Prophets that he knows he’s been torturing himself by being unwilling to face losing his beloved wife. He can’t face building a new life for himself and his son without her. This encounter with the Prophets helps him choose healing over repeated suffering.

I don’t think I’m alone in doing what the character Benjamin Sisko did in the TV show. I’ve been living with a certain set of beliefs about myself and money. I’ve been blocking a more prosperous and fulfilling life for myself. Experience has taught me that sometimes we hold onto our suffering thinking we deserve it, or if we deal with our pain, we’re being disloyal to those we’ve lost. Or we can’t see the path before us without the pain and suffering. We can’t imagine a better life. Sometimes we believe we will never be happy again. There are lots of reasons why we get emotionally and mentally stuck. I’ve been stuck and I’ve decided to allow myself to move on.

As Pema Chodron says, “Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.” I find that idea comforting. I get a second and a third chance to improve my life by dealing with the issues that I’ve not yet finished healing. Now is the time for me to finish the work of healing my relationship with money. Who knows what issues I’ll be healing this time next year.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2014


Published by lucindasagemidgorden

I grew up in the West, the descendant of people traveling by wagon train to a new life. Some of their determination and wanderlust became a part of me. I imagine them sitting around the campfire telling stories, which is why I became first a theatre artist, then a teacher and now a writer. They are all ways of telling stories.

4 thoughts on “Suffering is Optional

  1. Fascinating post. Good work you do! I have been wanting to learn about tapping since I’ve heard how helpful it can be.
    And my favorite (currently, anyway) quote: “Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Emilie, tapping is easy to learn. Nick and his sister Jessica have videos on YouTube that show you how to do it. I love that the give it away, and sell workshops and books. That way anyone can learn how to do it even if they don’t have money at the moment.

      I love that quote too. I’ll have to get some of Pema Chodron’s books.



  2. Lucinda, I have found tapping to be very beneficial as well. It has helped me move through trauma, stuck thought patterns, as well as, manage PTSD. Any tool that deepens our connection to our soul self and moves us toward a conscious life is worth exploring and putting into practice. I’m always excited to hear that others are on a similar path. Would love to hear more details on how it has helped you work through money issues. I always have that at the bottom of my priority list! Too big, I fear! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dorothy, I’ve only been tapping on money and prosperity for a week now but I’m already feeling great shifts. I’m probably like most people, and absorbed the belief system of my parents. My Father’s philosophy was to buy only the best, and only what you really need. But I didn’t pick up his belief that there is always more where that came from. I sided with my Mom, because I sensed that she was more insecure. Her dad left the family when she was 9 or 10 and my Grandmother struggled to make ends meet. So, naturally, my Mom always comes from a place of lack. What tapping is allowing me to do is let go of coming from that place, and create my own money story. For the first time in my life, I feel that I can be prosperous doing what love to do. I’m sure there will be future posts about my progress. This is just another step in my efforts to heal my relationship with money.

      I have lots of issues to heal as well, but I just trust that a new opportunity to do more work on an isuue will present itself when I’m ready to face it. One of the best lessons I’ve learned is to relax and trust the process. It took me a long time to learn that one. My life is so much less stressful since I let go of having to heal everything at once.

      I send good thoughts to you and your process. It’s good to know there are orhers out there actively doing the necessary work to heal.



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