Time’s Up on Toxic Masculinity

I don’t know about you but I’m so tired of toxic masculinity and I’m praying it’s on it’s last legs. There are hopeful signs that it is. The end of the Afghan War is just one of them. There are so many naysayers about ending the war but there are supporters as well. I won’t go into all the political ramifications of that one situation. But the fears that the Taliban will take revenge on the population did get me thinking about toxic masculinity.

There are too many other toxic groups and individuals to name here. You probably know some within your family, at work, or school in any case. 

Here’s my list of what a toxic person looks like, because women can display these traits as well. 

No matter what the endeavor, toxic people have to win at all costs. This can, and most likely do, involve the use of violence, physical and/or emotional. They thrive on conflict.

They employ a double standard when it comes to rules. One set for others, that they try to control, and one for themselves. 

They think they are meant to dominate over everyone and everything within their purview and they think this dominance is a God given right.

They cry that their freedoms are being taken away when their dominance over everything is challenged.

They have little regard for the plight of others. They want to end up with all the wealth, toys, etc. As long as they are comfortable that’s all that matters.

They expect everyone to adjust their behavior so that their sense of wellbeing is protected.

They can say any outrageous thing they want to anyone else, but if someone challenges their point of view, they end the discussion.

There are probably a lot more toxic traits I could name and that you can think of but you get the idea.

To me, at their core, toxic people are deeply afraid, and maybe even wounded. But their behavior can also just be part of their personality type.

Years ago I read a fascinating article about the difference between Alpha and Omega men. I think it was published in Psychology Today but you can type “Alpha vs Omega male” into your search engine and find lots of articles about the different male personality types with varying takes on which type is best. LovePanky.com is one that carries an article written by Dr. Carol Morgan. It closely resembles the article I read all those years ago.

The descriptions of Alpha males I wrote above were pretty close to the article I read. But as I recall the article was posing the idea that Omega males are much more powerful and more needed than their counterparts.

An Omega male has some similar traits to the Alpha. For example, they are confident, but they don’t need to be at the head of the pack. They can lead just as well from the back. Their confidence comes from some inner strength rather than accolades from outside.

They don’t go along with the crowd, but they don’t shout about it so everyone notices. They just do what they want and don’t care what anyone thinks about it. 

While most Alpha males are extroverts, Omegas are most likely introverts. Being alone to recharge helps them come up with creative and innovative ideas.

Omega’s are kind, compassionate, and empathetic. They prefer deep relationships rather than being the center of attention. They are genuinely interested in what other people think and feel.

They don’t have big egos which means they can pay attention to other people and their needs.

As I’ve written before, I’ve been blessed to know lots of Omega males within my family and among my friends. And I can say that being around them is relaxing and even nurturing. While Alpha males make me feel tired at the least extreme and angry at the most extreme, I don’t associate with them if I can help it. It’s too exhausting.

Maybe it’s the worship of the Alpha/toxic male type that I wish would die out. There are so many different types of people with different kinds of talents. We need to come out of being hypnotized into thinking that only one personality type is valuable and can make good leaders. 

My ultimate hope is that men and women can begin to honor each other and work together better, (and put Alpha males in their proper place).

It’s been a busy week for me. I’m glad to have a few days off to rest and recuperate before the next busy week begins.

Blessings to you all. Thanks for your support of this blog and my podcast. I appreciate it very much.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2021

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards.

Have you ever experienced life shattering events? Yeah, most of us have. In The Space Between Time, Jenna Holden gets slammed by her fiancé walking out, her mother’s untimely death, and losing her job all in one week. But she receives unexpected help when she finds her three-times great-grandmother’s journals and begins the adventure of a lifetime.

The Space Between Time is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords and for Kindle at Amazon, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news when the audiobook version is published.

Lucinda is also the host of Story-Power a new podcast where she and her guests discuss the stories in all formats that have changed their lives. It’s available here on Sage Woman Chronicles and on Apple, Google, and Spotify podcast apps. Please rate and leave a review. It helps people find me.