“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” ~ Albert Einstein

When I was at my sister’s home after Mom died, we watched lots of Oscar nominated and other movies. Doing this was like comfort food. The stories eased our pain. After watching Barbie, I asked my sister and my niece if they thought women’s stories felt different than men’s stories. Without missing a beat, they both said, “Yes.” 

I’ve been thinking about how to describe this feeling for a long time and have yet to come up with a concise answer. In fact, I’m always looking for my “elevator speech” about why stories are so important in the first place. I may have a little better answer to that question now but it may take me awhile to plead my case. Let me tell you my thought process.

For the last number of years, I have been reading books almost exclusively by women and while I have enjoyed the books by men I’ve read, there is something fundamentally different about the energies of each of the stories. This goes for movies and TV shows as well. And it has occurred to me that as a human species, we know a lot about the stories of men, their triumphs and failures and how they have affected the world. But we don’t know as much about how women function in the world under the oppressive rule of men. We know little of their successes and influences.

What prompted this post is a series of stories I consumed upon returning home. Supporting others emotionally, is draining. One day I decided to watch a new movie, Damsel, to relax. I was hooked by the opening narration: “There are many stories about chivalry where the heroic knight saves the damsel in distress.” (Pause) “This is not one of them.” As the story progresses, Elodie, played by Millie Bobby Brown not only saves herself, she heals the wounds inflicted on a dragon by a power hungry king in the distant past. I won’t give any other spoilers away. You’ll have to go watch the movie yourself. It’s on Netflix. I loved the story because it juxtaposed the male point of view about how to survive in the world with that of the young woman, Elodie.

About that same time, I came across an interesting book by Nikki Marmery titled, Lilith. As I read, it shook up some of my long held beliefs about the nature of God and His relationship to us.

Some of you may know that Lilith was the first wife of Adam, characterized as a demon and harlot. This is according to Jewish mythology, or maybe even The Torah. Lilith was thrown out of Eden because she refused to give up being equal to Adam. After all she was born of the Goddess, Asherah, who taught her that women and men were put on earth to work together as equals. But egged on by his God, Adam wants to dominate Lilith. Unbeknownst to them both, Lilith had not only eaten of the Tree of Knowledge, but also of the Tree of Life, which gave her immortality and one thing she notices before she’s ejected from Eden is that her mother Goddess is missing. Adam’s God had gotten rid of his wife because he was jealous of her and wanted all of the power and accolades for himself.

Lilith, is one of those books that challenges long held beliefs, like Dan Brown’s The DaVinci Code. Remember the brouhaha about Jesus and Mary Magdalen being married? Lilith is a book like that. Asherah is loving and wise. So, when God kicks Lilith out of the Garden, she goes on a quest to find her and free her from bondage. Lilith thinks that when Asherah is free, all women will be freed. But that’s not what happens. When she finally finds her with the help of a fallen Angel who loves her, Asherah tells her that her mission is to help humanity understand that they are supposed to become gods themselves. Much to Lilith dismay, Asherah dies so women can eventually find their own power. I didn’t fully understand the concept that we are meant to be our own gods, nor did I feel comfortable with it. What did the author mean by that idea? It is an important theme of the book because Lilith and other women reiterate it over and over again.

As I thought about what Marmery might mean, I realized that this is just another way to state the idea that each of us is an aspect of the Divine. One wonderful analogy is that the One Source is like the ocean and everything that exists is like one droplet in that ocean. More than that, the divine is surrounding us and within us as well. In other words, we’re all connected to everything that exists, so in a way, we are each god. But that wasn’t enough information for me. I wanted to learn more, so I did some research.

The next book I picked up was one that influenced Marmery to write her book. It’s one I’ve had on my wish list for quite some time titled, The Woman With the Alabaster Jar: Mary Magdalen and the Holy Grail, by Margaret Starbird. This book may have also influenced Dan Brown’s book. In this book, as in Lilith, it shows that the disciples, Peter, in particular, resent Jesus’ extremely close relationship with Mary. They are Jews who believe that men should have dominion over the entire Earth. We think of the disciples as unified behind Jesus teachings, but as soon as he’s gone, they begin to alter the message he and Mary have been preaching.

One thing both books call into question is the way the men and very rarely the women of The Bible have been portrayed. What if the stories told in that book aren’t accurate? Even Biblical scholars will tell you that none of the books of The Bible was written close to when the supposed events in the books happened. They were written down 70, 100, 150 years after those events based on the oral stories passed down through the generations. And that makes me think that maybe the God of the Old Testament might not have been as unforgiving, vindictive, and punitive as recorded. 

When I took theology class in college, one of the theories we studied was Process Theology. One of the tenets of that philosophy according to the statements by Alfred North Whitehead (in Wikipedia) who was the founder of the philosophy, is that: …”God created the World, as the World creates God.” In other words, we learn from God as much as He learns from us. And maybe that’s why the God Jesus and Mary taught about was loving, compassionate, and forgiving. As we humans learn to get along with each other better God learns from those lessons. Perhaps God is learning throughout the ages, just as we are learning.

And finally, I get to the better understanding of why stories are so important.

It’s Easter weekend, and though we no longer attend church, it’s our tradition to watch Ben Hur, and a story about Passover. We used to watch The Ten Commandments, but last year, we decided that while the first half was good, the second half was too preachy for our taste. This year we went looking for something to replace it and found the new Docudrama, Testament: The Story of Moses. The story of “Exodus” is told in three segments with Muslim, Jewish, and Christian experts analyzing Moses’ story. They do it like I would analyze the secular stories I consume. They examine Moses journey from Egyptian prince, to lowly shepherd, to prophet. And they do the same with Pharaoh, and the Israelite slaves using modern psychology to explain the important lessons from the Exodus story. That confirmed for me that The Bible stories were meant to be teaching tools not literal fact or even literal history.

Stories have been used throughout the millennia in the same way and that’s why they are so important to us. And now after many, many centuries, women’s stories are being told more frequently. They are stories that are mostly about cooperation, compassion, forgiveness, and love than many stories by men. I no longer want to consume stories glorifying vengeance, greed, and lust for power. 

I must say, that even some men are getting tired of those kinds of stories. Their male characters contemplate what the effect of their actions will have on society. I’m thinking of Oppenheimer. 

I want to point out one last thing. It is difficult to consider new ideas that challenge our long held beliefs. I know because I’ve done it more than once in my life. In a way it’s as if a loved one is suddenly take from you, or you’ve lost a precious item and will never get it back. We resist the new ideas and claim they are wrong. If you don’t believe me, go read the user reviews for Testament. Half the reviews are scathing, claiming that the creators don’t know their history, or the true nature of the Moses story. What’s encouraging is that about half of the reviews are 10s. The reviewers loved the various points of view about the Exodus story and what we can learn from it. I’m on the side of the positive reviewers. I’m always look for what I can learn from the experiences of the characters in the stories I read or watch.  

So, my elevator pitch is this: Stories are one of the best teaching tools we have to understand what it means to be a human being.

Welcome new followers. And for those celebrating Easter, I hope your faith is renewed. Blessings to the rest who might be celebrating Passover, or some other significant religious holiday. Connecting with others during these important holidays is extremely important.

Blessings,

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2024