This post contains affiliate links.
Our society constantly promotes role models for masculinity, from superheroes to politicians, where the concept of being a ‘man’ is based in their ability to be tough, dominant – and even violent when required. ~ Deeyah Kahn
“Our dominant values that emphasize competition and scarcity limit continued progress.” ~ Jacque Fresco
“If you’re to do something, do it for yourself, and that’s what I try to do. I try to be authentic and try to be original, so that’s what I try to be. A lot of people try to build big brands but have received bad advice, and they don’t try to be authentic and real with themselves.” ~ Giannis Antetokoumpo
Last night I finished an eleven book and one novella, (so far) Jane Austen’s Dragons series by Maria Grace. One of the major themes of the books is dominance. The dragons have a hierarchy of dominance beginning with the Major Dragons, the kind we normally think of, large and scary, at the top of the chain, down to the little Fairy Dragons who are similar in size to hummingbirds. Dragons are animals even though they are intelligent, can talk and some can even read and write. For the dragons in the books, their society and associations work much smoother when each creature knows their place in the hierarchy. The more powerful ones are supposed to protect those under their care. Each species of dragon also has specific talents. Sometimes those talents aren’t appreciated, especially the talents of the Fairy Dragons, but they prove themselves as the stories go along.
Some of the humans who are part of The Blue Order, the governing body of dragon/human relations, are much more narrow minded than the dragons who are leaders in the Order. And that got me thinking about the difference between perceived and real power.
Since I have watched lots of movies and TV and have degrees in theatre, paying attention to body language and facial expressions comes naturally to me. I get lots of information about the characters, and people in the real world by watching their non-verbal communication clues.
While I was thinking about this post, an image of a prime example of someone who is supposed to be subservient actually demonstrating dominance no matter what situation she happens to be in came to mind. It’s from the PBS Masterpiece Theatre offering, Sanditon, which is based on an unfinished novel by Jane Austen.
The character is Agnes Harmon, the mother of one of the main characters, Georgiana. We only see Agnes in the last few episodes of the third season. She was once a slave on an island in the Caribbean, but now she’s living free in England and helping other former slaves like herself. Georgiana, her daughter, is the heiress of her white father’s fortune. She searched for her mother throughout the seasons. When Agnes arrives, Georgiana is engaged to Lord Harry Montrose. When Georgiana introduces her mother to Harry’s family, his mother tries to assert her authority by virtue of her title. But Agnes has experienced a great many people like Lady Montrose. She doesn’t react at all to the jibes the woman tries to unsettle her with. The actress playing Agnes keeps her face and body very still as she responds to Lady Montrose’s barrage of questions. As I watched her I felt that this character was the strongest person in the room. She was confident, self-possessed, yet non-judgmental. Nothing could ruffle her calm because she knew that she was just as valuable as anyone she might meet. I loved this character. I wish we could have seen more of her.
In my opinion, humans sometimes have a mixed up understanding of what authentic power is, who holds that power and who just thinks they do. I’m not going to write about political, religious, or even business systems. What I’ve been realizing throughout my life, is that real authority and authentic power come from within, just like the character of Agnes in Sanditon.
Because I believe this, and want to emulate people like Agnes, I have worked a long time to love and accept myself. After all this time I know who I am and what I’m capable of. I don’t need to tell everyone who comes along about my accomplishments. I mean, sometimes it’s good to do that, but often I can just be myself and allow those I meet to discover who I am and what I’ve done as we get to know each other. That leaves me free to be curious and learn about those I’m conversing with.
I’m sure you’ve been in similar situations, where someone feels the need to demonstrate their superior knowledge and/or experience so they can feel powerful. But the thing is, as my dad used to say, “When someone has to constantly give you their resumé, they don’t feel good about themselves.” I think he also meant, if they have to constantly assert their power, they’re trying to convince themselves more than anyone else.
What I’m hoping is that we are shifting from leaders who are in-authentic, who don’t care about those around them, who just want to assert their authority no matter how detrimental it might be, to the direction of a group of leaders who pay attention to the needs of those they are supposed to be leading; leaders who work collaboratively rather than competitively or coercively.
After reading the above series of books, I think it would be fun if there really were dragons who could be our friends and challenge our way of thinking and being.
For those in the U.S., have a wonderful long weekend.
Welcome new followers. If you have an opinion about something I write here, feel free to leave a comment or question.
Blessings,
Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2023
Story-Power podcast and on Patreon
I’m so passionate about stories that I created the Story-Power podcast and Patreon communities so I’d have an excuse to talk story with other story lovers. If you’re passionate about stories too, and want to talk about what you’ve learned from your favorites, come join me at patreon.com/StoryPower.
Saving the World One Story at a Time
Analyzing stories gives us CRITICAL DISTANCE from things that have happened to us. That’s why I’m hooked on stories. I get to examine my own life by watching the characters go through their emotional ups and downs. If that sounds like something you’d like to try, you might want to consider taking my course Saving the World One Story at a Time. Hurry to get the special May discount at: https://lnkd.in/gBp4hm4H
The Space Between Time
Have you ever experienced life shattering events? Yeah, after the last few years, most of us have. In The Space Between Time, Jenna Holden gets slammed by her fiancé walking out, her mother’s untimely death, and losing her job all in one week. But she receives unexpected help when she finds her three-times great-grandmother’s journals and begins the adventure of a lifetime.
The Space Between Time is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords and for Kindle at Amazon, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news when the audiobook version is published.
Lucinda is also the host of Story-Power a podcast where she and her guests discuss their creative endeavors, and/or the stories that have changed their lives. It’s available here on Sage Woman Chronicles and on Apple, Google, and Spotify podcast apps. Please rate and leave a review. It helps people find me.
PodMatch
If you are a podcaster, or have a message or fantastic product you want to share with the world, I encourage you to check out PodMatch. Use the affiliate link and tell them, Lucinda sent you. Then contact me so we can set up a Story-Power chat.
Sage Woman Chronicles 