Sage Woman Chronicles

Ha Ha, Fooled Myself

Last week I wrote that I was taking a break from writing this post, but I just had to write about what happened this week.

To set this up, let me tell you that the college IT department decided to upgrade the college website and all the links IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SEMESTER. As you might imagine it has caused all kinds of havoc. The theatre workshop class, which is the way students get credit for performing in the play, was one of the victims of this switch over. Students had difficulties signing up, and well, I signed up for the class, with my approved tuition waiver in my virtual hand, to pad the numbers so the dean wouldn’t cancel the class.

Monday evening, I got a bill from the college in the mail for $790 for the class. I was required to pay this because, supposedly, I’m an out of state student. I was steamed, to say the least. I’ve worked for the college for eleven years and they couldn’t find me in their records?

The next morning I called Dave, the director of the play, to vent. When he laughed at the absurdity of the situation, I was miffed at first. But as we talked, the whole situation with the website switch over became more and more funny.

My chiropractor reacted the same way when I told him about the incident and we laughed together. Sometimes you just have to laugh at situations like this.

When I got to the registrar’s office to resolve the issue, they were as baffled as I was. Though the letter had dropped the Midgorden from my last name, they were able to find my records in their system and couldn’t understand why I’d been labeled as a non-resident student. Needless to say the situation was resolved. My tuition waiver was good and I don’t have to pay anything for the class.

This morning, Wednesday morning, I was reading Pam Grout’s post about three fabulous things that are happening for her. If anyone has reason to be stressed and depressed, it’s Pam. A year ago, last October, her 25 year old daughter died from a brain aneurysm. Taz, was Pam’s only child. As you can imagine it’s been an extremely difficult year for her, but she’s worked at learning the lessons, and remaining positive. Because she’s kept turning her feeling and thinking back to being positive, several great things are happening for her.

Pam lost her daughter. She’s willing to deal with her grief and then move toward more positive thinking. And I got upset over a little snafu with my class registration!?

Pam is a fantastic example and reminder for me. No matter how big or little my problems, I need to continually turn toward positive thinking and feeling. Wallowing in negativity doesn’t help me or anyone else.

Gregg Braden, a scientist and spiritual teacher, writes and lectures about the new discoveries about the strong energy our hearts put out. It’s a great deal more than the energy put out by our brains. Everyone and everything around us is affected by our emotions and thoughts. If we think and feel we’re not worthy enough to have good things happen to us, we’re setting ourselves up for a bunch of negative experiences.

Yesterday I was a little dark cloud spreading negativity. Today I’m ashamed of myself for being so childish. And I want to change my thoughts and feelings so that I spread positive energy instead. This takes constant self-monitoring. When I feel angry or sad, I have to acknowledge it and then turn my thoughts and emotions around. Today I’m working on doing that.

If I get another aha next week, I may write again.

I hope you have a fabulous weekend.

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a little bit like Outlander in that it’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, novel. Except that Jenna’s life is shattered and she must find a way to put it back together. When she finds old journals, she joins consciousness with her three-times great-grandmother, Morgan, rather than traveling physically. She is able to come back at intervals and apply what she’s learned to her own life situations.

The Space Between Time is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords and for Kindle at Amazon, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news when the audiobook version is published. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.

Taking a Break

“Rest when you’re weary. Refresh and renew yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit. Then get back to work.” ~ Ralph Marston

Since my duties with Twelfth Night and teaching are intensifying, I’ve decided I need to take a little break from writing and posting to this blog for a while. Autumn is always busy for everyone, so you may be happy not to have to read my blog each week as well.

Recently I was reminded just how important it is to take care of oneself. I’ve never been good at that. I’m a recovering people pleaser. Yet somehow the message got through this time. And thank heavens it did because I’ve been extremely tired.

Last weekend I spent one whole day reading and doing things that brought me joy and was amazed at how much better I felt. That convinced me to slow down and enjoy the little things, like watching my acting students blossom, working on my novel, or watching the birds in the back yard. Even going to rehearsal when I’m called has been a joy, even if it is a late night. The students are amazing. I think it’s going to be a fantastic production.

Another reason I’m taking a break from posting here is because it’s time to take stock. Many years ago, my father-in-law told us about an article or a book he’d read with the premise that every seven years we feel the need to make some changes in our lives. I love that. I’ve never been a status quo kind of person. I guess it’s because we moved every couple of years when I was growing up.

In any case, I’m going to examine all I’m doing and make some adjustments. It seems like a perfect time for it.

Thanks for reading, liking, and commenting. Welcome to my new followers. There are six years of back posts you can read if you are so inclined.

I will be back to tell you how the performances turned out.

Blessings for all your autumn activities. I hope you find joy and fulfillment sharing time with family and friends.

The Space Between Time is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords and for Kindle at Amazon, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news when the audiobook version is published. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.

Unexpected Turns

“I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being.” Oscar Wilde

“Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci

“I have seen many storms in my life. Most storms have caught me by surprise, so I had to learn very quickly to look further and understand that I am not capable of controlling the weather, to exercise the art of patience and to respect the fury of nature.” ~ Paulo Coelho

Have you ever felt like you want to go in one direction, but for some reason the universe, God, or circumstances pull you in another? That’s been my life for the last year and a half.

This was frustrating at first, because all I wanted to do was concentrate on writing and recording the audio for my books. But, no, I got a clear message that I needed to make the most of my new friendship with Dave Dahl. He’s the theatre professional who came out of the ethers to help me when I directed Measure for Measure. After that I invited him to be a guest artist and work with my acting students. Wow, did he make a big difference. I even got reenergized after so many years of teaching. Hmm, maybe there was a good reason for me to stay where I was, at least for now.

As last year progressed, I shared with Dave my frustrations about the way the arts in general have been basically ignored by the administration at the college. That after so many years of beating my head against the wall, I felt demoralized. And, I never felt I was well equipped to bring about big change in any case.

As we talked we got the idea to find out if Dave would have the credentials to direct the plays. If we produced one play a semester, that might be just the thing to garner interest in developing a true theatre program. So, if Dave was eligible, we’d revamp the class schedule to make that happen. Tanya, our department chair, was willing to go to bat for us and after lots of hoops to jump through, Dave was hired.

Rehearsals are now in full swing for Twelfth Night. My role is to help Dave navigate all the college bureaucracy to get to the production to final performances. Occasionally, I also attend rehearsals to offer a second opinion. After attending an early first rehearsal, I came home and said to Barry, “Everyone is going to be blown away by the quality of this production.”

There have been times when Dave and I are working with my acting students, or I’m at rehearsals, that I have an overwhelming feeling of being just where I’m supposed to be at the moment. It’s not that my dream of being a full-time writer has been replaced, it’s just not yet time for it to come to fruition. I have to release my expectations, go with the flow and trust that the Higher Ups know what they are doing. Since there is no way I can see the big picture from where I’m sitting, I must trust that there is a larger purpose that will be beneficial in the end.

Dave and I are just laying bricks right now, hoping that the administration, and community will take notice and give our efforts support. We believe that it’s through art that we have an opportunity to understand what it means to be a human being. We both feel it’s one great way to learn empathy. And I’m willing to do what it takes to help empathy grow.

Struggling to go my own way has made me extremely tired. Finally, in this last week, I’ve decided to surrender and see where my current path leads. I can almost hear God laughing.

Thanks for reading, liking, and commenting. Welcome new followers. Have a blessed weekend.

Crazy Idea

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” ~ Aesop

Ever since I wrote last week’s post, I’ve had this crazy idea. What if I created a hashtag on Twitter that read something like “#Cascade of Kindness.” I don’t even know how hashtags work, so I’ll need help with that. But it would be fun if I, or someone, created this hashtag and it went viral. I think most of us can agree that some good vibes right now would be welcome.

As I was thinking about that idea, I was entering the college library, I had quite a bit of time before class, and a bird started singing. It was as if the bird was singing just for me. I stopped to listen for moment or two. I then thanked the bird for its song.

There are so many good things that happen all the time that pass us by. For instance, the sky lit with stars that I get to see upon arriving home from teaching. I’m always filled with awe of the beauty of those tiny points of light. Or the birds at our feeder. Or the quality of the light at sunset. Life is filled with so many beautiful people and things. Those are what we should be focusing on.

Of course, some of the blessings we receive present themselves as challenges and we fuss and fret about them. However, if I pay attention, I’m amazed at all the good things that come my way because I faced the challenge instead of trying to ignore it. Maybe one of our tests right now is to be positive in the face of so many negative things happening.

And that’s why I want to create a movement of people who will be kind to everyone, no matter what’s going on. What do you think the social media hashtag should be? Since Ellen DeGeneres is the one who inspired my thinking, I’d like to include her name in the title, but other than that, I’m open to suggestions.

That’s all I have for today. Just that one thought. Do you think you’d be interested in spreading a cascade of kindness? I’d be interested to know.

Thanks for reading, liking, and commenting. I hope you find someone to be kind to this weekend.

If We Really Want to Change the World …

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” ~ Albert Einstein.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Here we go again! Another controversy. Only it’s not about some dirty dealings by a politician or scandal about a celebrity. Nope! Ellen DeGeneres was NICE to George W. Bush at the Dallas Cowboy’s game! And she got a lot of online flack for that. Really!? One online news commentator said her behavior was disgusting. It was disgusting because George W. Bush, in her opinion, was a war criminal. I’ve never heard anyone say that being kind to someone was disgusting behavior.

Here’s what Ellen had to say about it, “When I say be kind to one another, I don’t mean only the people that think the same way you do. I mean be kind to everyone. It doesn’t matter.”

That’s an idea and practice I can get behind. Now that doesn’t mean I’m perfect at it. I catch myself saying unkind things, even if it’s only to the TV, or the driver who cut me off. But I am getting better at recognizing when it happens, that when I send out nasty energy, it’s going to come back and stick to me at some point. So, I ask for those nasty thoughts and words to be taken back or transformed. One way I do that is to imagine what it’s like to be that other person. That makes it easier for me to be kind.

I want to only send out love and kindness because that’s how we change the world.

After hearing about the attacks on Ellen, I continued to think about why some people want to tear others down instead of build them up. My dad used to say, “Wounded people, need to wound other people. They think it will make them feel better.” I agree with dad, but I think there is something else going on. We come into this world with what Caroline Myss calls our “Sacred Contract”. And I think there are three basic categories of contracts or points of view when it comes to human interactions. There are the adherents to the Old Testament, eye for an eye, vengeful God, we carry out God’s judgment, kind of people. There are the New Testament, God is love, love thy neighbor as thyself, those who are without sin cast the first stone, kind of people. And there are those that mash up some Old Testament teachings with the new teachings of Jesus.

To be fair to people who are not of the Christian persuasion, maybe I should categorize these groups as those who think they have the mandate of the Divine Being to carry out His judgment, those who follow the path of pure love, and those who mix love with judgment.

I first became aware of these three points of view while I was getting my Religious Studies degree, though I couldn’t articulate the differences then. As I’ve done my own personal work, I’ve had time to think more deeply about what attitudes and beliefs make us who we are.

For millennia we’ve lived in a world that is clearly not in the love thy neighbor category. But that might be changing. To help good triumph over evil, maybe we should follow Ellen DeGeneres example and try to love one another, because I think we can all agree the world is a pretty messed up place right now. And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not go on as we have been.

The thing that impresses me about Ellen is that she must have done a great deal of personal work to be able to show love to people who criticize her. I say this because she gives love so freely, and seems to let all the flack that comes her way roll off her back. She doesn’t let it shake her resolve to continue to show kindness to everyone she meets. That takes a strong person. It’s so easy to slide into condemnation. It’s harder, or maybe it takes more discipline, to show compassion, kindness, and love no matter what.

Here’s what I’ve learned doing my own personal work. When I get upset with someone, I’m not really angry at them. I’m angry at the ugly part of myself I see in their actions or attitudes. What others do, holds up a mirror in front of my face and shows me something I don’t want to acknowledge about my own foibles.

So, if we really want to change the world, we have to take a good long look at ourselves and accept that we’ve made some pretty big mistakes. We have to realize that no one who has ever lived, except maybe one or two, have lived a spotless life. We have to acknowledge our mistakes and love ourselves anyway, because only then can we love everybody else. And this may be difficult to wrap your head around, but God doesn’t judge us. She/He loves us no matter what. We all go to heaven.

Thanks for reading, liking and commenting. Have a fun weekend.