Ha Ha, Fooled Myself

Thunderstorm over Corfu

Last week I wrote that I was taking a break from writing this post, but I just had to write about what happened this week.

To set this up, let me tell you that the college IT department decided to upgrade the college website and all the links IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SEMESTER. As you might imagine it has caused all kinds of havoc. The theatre workshop class, which is the way students get credit for performing in the play, was one of the victims of this switch over. Students had difficulties signing up, and well, I signed up for the class, with my approved tuition waiver in my virtual hand, to pad the numbers so the dean wouldn’t cancel the class.

Monday evening, I got a bill from the college in the mail for $790 for the class. I was required to pay this because, supposedly, I’m an out of state student. I was steamed, to say the least. I’ve worked for the college for eleven years and they couldn’t find me in their records?

The next morning I called Dave, the director of the play, to vent. When he laughed at the absurdity of the situation, I was miffed at first. But as we talked, the whole situation with the website switch over became more and more funny.

My chiropractor reacted the same way when I told him about the incident and we laughed together. Sometimes you just have to laugh at situations like this.

When I got to the registrar’s office to resolve the issue, they were as baffled as I was. Though the letter had dropped the Midgorden from my last name, they were able to find my records in their system and couldn’t understand why I’d been labeled as a non-resident student. Needless to say the situation was resolved. My tuition waiver was good and I don’t have to pay anything for the class.

This morning, Wednesday morning, I was reading Pam Grout’s post about three fabulous things that are happening for her. If anyone has reason to be stressed and depressed, it’s Pam. A year ago, last October, her 25 year old daughter died from a brain aneurysm. Taz, was Pam’s only child. As you can imagine it’s been an extremely difficult year for her, but she’s worked at learning the lessons, and remaining positive. Because she’s kept turning her feeling and thinking back to being positive, several great things are happening for her.

Pam lost her daughter. She’s willing to deal with her grief and then move toward more positive thinking. And I got upset over a little snafu with my class registration!?

Pam is a fantastic example and reminder for me. No matter how big or little my problems, I need to continually turn toward positive thinking and feeling. Wallowing in negativity doesn’t help me or anyone else.

Gregg Braden, a scientist and spiritual teacher, writes and lectures about the new discoveries about the strong energy our hearts put out. It’s a great deal more than the energy put out by our brains. Everyone and everything around us is affected by our emotions and thoughts. If we think and feel we’re not worthy enough to have good things happen to us, we’re setting ourselves up for a bunch of negative experiences.

Yesterday I was a little dark cloud spreading negativity. Today I’m ashamed of myself for being so childish. And I want to change my thoughts and feelings so that I spread positive energy instead. This takes constant self-monitoring. When I feel angry or sad, I have to acknowledge it and then turn my thoughts and emotions around. Today I’m working on doing that.

If I get another aha next week, I may write again.

I hope you have a fabulous weekend.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2019

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a little bit like Outlander in that it’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, novel. Except that Jenna’s life is shattered and she must find a way to put it back together. When she finds old journals, she joins consciousness with her three-times great-grandmother, Morgan, rather than traveling physically. She is able to come back at intervals and apply what she’s learned to her own life situations.

The Space Between Time is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords and for Kindle at Amazon, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news when the audiobook version is published. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.

Nothing Matters

Tarantula Nebula
Tarantula Nebula

“Bad news is: You can’t make people like, love, understand, validate, accept, or be nice to you. You can’t control them either. Good news is: It doesn’t matter.” ~ Daily Vibes on Facebook

“You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.” ~ Wayne Dyer

“Conflict cannot survive without your participation.” ~ Wayne Dyer

“Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there.” ~ The ManKind Project on Facebook

“Trials are but lessons that you failed to learn presented once again, so where you made a faulty choice before you now can make a better one, and thus escape all pain that what you chose before has brought to you.” ~ A Course in Miracles, pg. 728

Years ago when Neale Donald Walsch said to me, “Contemplate these words: Nothing matters and you think it does.” I was appalled at his attitude. How could he say such a thing when there was so much suffering in the world! Yet on some level, I already knew that there was much more going on behind the scene of the world I was living in than was readily visible. I asked myself, “Do I trust God or not?” Though on one level I thought Neale was daft, I did as he said. It took me several years of contemplation to understand what he meant by those words.

Finally, in the early nineties I had a huge aha moment. My experience was so profound that I began to talk about what I’d learned and immediately was met with resistance and condemnation. People said to me exactly what I had thought when Neale had given me the assignment. “How dare you say nothing matters. Look at all the suffering in the world. Look at the injustice.” Well that shut me down pretty quickly. I didn’t know how to make others understand what I knew to be true. God’s reality is something you must experience for yourself. Some people just don’t want to change their perspective. However, I didn’t give up what I’d learned.

Fast forward to these last couple of weeks. In the interim, I’d been very selective about sharing my huge aha. Some people get it, others look at me as if I have two heads. But I knew that whenever anything rocked my personal life, or the lives of millions around the world, that there was a much larger purpose to those events. I knew that what my friend John Berger says is true, “There are no victims, only volunteers.” What I’ve come to realize is that the world is as we choose to see it. If we see a dangerous world, that’s what we experience. If we see a friendly, supportive world that’s what we experience. It’s our choice while we’re in this physical form. The thing is once we leave this physical body, we’re back with God and part of the real reality once more. However, we can live in God’s reality while in our physical bodies. We can that is if enough of us choose to let go of our old ways of thinking and being.

Last week I wrote about seeing the movie Judgment at Nuremberg again and how what I’d been studying in A Course in Miracles affected my viewpoint of the movie. History tells us that the Allies thought they were so superior to the Nazis, as if we haven’t committed our own atrocities, that they put the Nazi leaders on trial for crimes to humanity. They condemned many Nazi leaders to death or life imprisonment. I was reminded of just how sacred and profound a change forgiveness can make in the life of a person, or in a society. While withholding forgiveness can devastate and perpetuate suffering.

A week later my husband and I were watching CBS Sunday Morning. On it was a segment about Dick Cheney and the new book he and his daughter have written together. I was appalled when Cheney’s daughter said, with such love in her eyes, that her father had more integrity than anyone she’d ever known. My reaction was not kind or forgiving. Oh how I wanted to blame him for the Iraq war, for his warmongering and greed. I wanted to see him get punished for all the lives lost, and proliferation of the war machine under his watch just like the Nazi’s had been. Then I stopped. Here was my opportunity to learn a new part of that old lesson.

As you might imagine, I’ve had to take some time to think and reconnect with the idea that nothing matters. Fortunately this morning as I was again studying A Course in Miracles, I understood that I’m no better than Dick Cheney and I have no right to judge him. The old part of me wants to punish him for seeing a dangerous world and for condemning all of us who strive to see a world filled with God’s love. But condemnation is not love. I can’t return attack for attack and make the world a better place. If I condemn Mr. Cheney, then I put myself right back into that dangerous world we see on the nightly news.

The problem with condemnation is that it ignores the spiritual beings underneath all of our attitudes and actions. We are more than our physical bodies and our lives continue after our bodies deteriorate. We don’t have to suffer pain and strife. We can choose to see the world differently. We must be willing to let go of what we were taught about the world and how it works. We need to get a new vision of who God is and who we are in relation to Her/Him.

When I’m confronted with someone like Dick Cheney, I’ll have to remind myself that he doesn’t know his own connection to the Divine. Eventually it will become second nature for me. That’s when I will live in love and peace completely. Until that time, I’ll continue to write and speak about what I’m learning. If I’m not understood, if I’m condemned as a Pollyanna, if I’m told I don’t understand the real world, that’s okay. The world I see is a much more loving and peaceful place in which to live and all I can do is to hold that vision so that, hopefully, others will join me there. Eventually enough of us will make the shift and the old world of struggle and strife will fade away.

Thanks for reading. Feel free to make a comment.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2015