Empathy Lessons?

Heart Connection (by Alisa Looney)

“A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick.” ~ Brené Brown

There have been so many cringe worthy events in the news this week. My discomfort level was so high that I woke up in the middle of the night one night with the idea that all of us in this country could use some empathy lessons.

Joe Biden tried to make a point about how he was able to work with segregationist law makers who thought very differently than he did. His comments were taken as an insult by Cory Booker and Kamala Harris. When asked if Biden was going to apologize, he said, “No. I’m not a racist. Cory Booker should apologize to me.” When he said that I thought, “It never hurts to apologize when someone misunderstands your intention.” We already have enough politicians, and people in power who don’t apologize for their policies or their actions.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve apologized to people who misunderstood what I said or did. I apologized even when I didn’t think I was in the wrong. Being open to the fact that maybe I was wrong was a fantastic way to open a dialogue so the other person and I could come to a new understanding.

I have to say that communication by words is extremely difficult. In a way, we each have our own vocabularies, with a particular word meaning one thing to me and something completely different for you. That’s why we often misunderstand each other. I think I’m saying one thing, while the people listening to the message each have their own interpretation of the words I’m using. Misunderstandings under those conditions are inevitable.

But that’s not the whole story. Body language and facial expressions are the largest communicators. Turn off the sound on any visual entertainment and see if you can understand what’s going on just by body language and facial expressions alone. My guess is you’d be able to understand the emotions of the interaction, if not what the people are saying to each other. To me, Joe Biden’s body language indicated belligerence, not cooperation.

That was the first event that got me thinking. Then there was the shooting in South Bend, Indiana. A white police officer shot a black man. Mayor Pete tried to have an open town hall meeting to see if they could come up with solutions for the problem. But that blew up into anger, pointing fingers and blaming the people in authority.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I think there are far too many law enforcement related shootings happening in this country. And it is usually people of color who are the victims. That’s a horrendous situation that we need to fix. But as Mayor Pete admitted in the debate on Thursday evening, “…I couldn’t get it done,” meaning integrating his police department. He went on to say, “There’s a wall of mistrust, put up one racist act at a time.” That doesn’t mean he’s going to stop trying, it just means as it stands now, there is still an imbalance of black to white police officers in South Bend and it’s going to take lots of work to remedy that situation.

It was after the shooting in South Bend that the idea of empathy lessons came to me. Mayor Pete is right. We have so many walls of mistrust. The poor don’t trust the rich, people of color don’t trust whites, women don’t trust men, conservatives don’t trust progressives and visa versa; it just goes on and on. People in each of these groups have plenty of reason for their mistrust. And yet, there has to be a solution to keep this horrible situation from spiraling further out of control.

Maybe the solution is empathy lessons for all of us. We could make it a requirement in schools and colleges, as part of job training in all industries, and basic training for all government officials.

But who would lead the trainings? As I was thinking about that, the story broke that there were thousands of children being held in over crowded detention centers all over the southern border. These children don’t have access to hygiene products, proper bedding, and who knows maybe even food. The investigators discovered that the children were stuffed in facilities meant for fewer people. And they were pretty much left to fend for themselves. I have to ask, how does a baby, or a toddler fend for themselves?

We definitely need empathy lessons!

The cool thing is, empathy is something almost all of us come equipped with. And with practice we can develop it to a high skill. Things might seem really dark right now, but I say, lets get empathy experts on the job. They can be pulled from lots of different disciplines, counselors, ministers, human rights advocates, actors and directors, and people like Brené Brown who study shame, vulnerability and human behavior. I’d love to teach classes like that.

Just off the top of my head, here’s how I’d do it:

Make the participants watch selected movies and discuss the character’s motivations, and emotional states of mind. Which ones do the participants relate to? Not relate to? It’s a class I already teach at my local community college.

Bring in individuals to tell their stories. I once had training in sales. The motto was, “Stories sell.” That’s actually part of our DNA. When we observe acts of kindness, or hatred, it’s as if they are being done to us. Hearing someone’s honest retelling of their story does the same thing. We feel what they experienced and gain a new perspective.

Do some role playing casting people against type. Doing that takes them out of their comfort zones. I teach acting class too.

Read books and stories about people and places that are vastly different from our own and discuss them. I’m not as good at this one as I would like to be, but I have read books about people from different cultures that changed my perspective in profound ways. James Baldwin said, “You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.” And I agree with him.

These empathy lessons have to be on going events. It will take years for our culture to change from fear based to empathy based.

However, there is hope. A theory called The Hundredth Monkey Effect states that a group of animals, or people, can evolve if a certain percentage of the group learn a new skill, or way of being. It’s based on scientific research in Koshima, Japan beginning in 1950. It’s a fascinating story about how a young Macaca fuscata, monkey learned to wash sweet potatoes left in the dirt for the family group by the scientists. The scientists observed this monkey washing the dirt off her sweet potatoes in water. They then observed her teaching her mother to do the same thing. Over several years the practice was adopted by other monkeys until one day critical mass was reached. All the monkeys in that family group began washing their sweet potatoes. But it didn’t end there, monkeys on other islands began washing their sweet potatoes as well with no contact whatsoever with the family group being studied.

If monkeys can learn to wash sweet potatoes, then humans can learn empathy and love for each other. But if we are to survive as a species, we’d better get busy learning and teaching others how to develop our empathy skills.

What do you think?

Welcome to my new followers. Thank you all for reading, liking and commenting on my posts. I appreciate it.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2019

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a little bit like Outlander in that it’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, novel. Except that Jenna’s life is shattered. When she finds old journals, she joins consciousness with her three-times great-grandmother, Morgan, rather than traveling physically. She is able to come back at intervals and apply what she’s learned to her own life situations.

The Space Between Time is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords and for Kindle at Amazon, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news when the audiobook version is published. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.

The Human Experience

Dad reading to son

“There is some kind of a sweet innocence in being human – in not having to be just happy or just sad – in the nature of being able to be both broken and whole, at the same time.” ~ C. JoyBell C.

“Studying whether there’s life on Mars or studying how the universe began, there’s something magical about pushing back the frontiers of knowledge. That’s something that is almost part of being human, and I’m certain that will continue.” ~ Sally Ride

“I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being.” ~ Oscar Wilde

The other night Barry and I watched The Da Vinci Code again. It’s a movie we love. The book was also very good. Watching it reminded me of the huge controversy that exploded when the book came out.

Our DVD has a bonus disc with a History Channel documentary about the book/movie and the source material that the book is based upon. You may be surprised to know that the idea of Jesus and Mary Magdalen being married and having children is not new. There are documents found at Nag Hammadi that indicate an extremely close relationship between Jesus and Mary. There are no documents stating that they were married, but knowing the Jewish practices, it would have been highly unusual for Jesus not to marry and have children.

As I recall, Dan Brown’s life was threatened because many Christians could not see Jesus as both human and divine. Some time later a similar book, The Expected One, was published and I know Kathleen McGowan received death threats. It’s story is similar to Dan Brown’s book, but it has a female protagonist and takes place over a much longer time period. It focuses on what happened to Mary and her children after the crucifixion. Through Mary’s leadership, her followers have different belief systems and practices than the church that becomes the Catholic Church, and that makes them a target for destruction.

It’s been forty years since I graduated with a Religious Studies degree. Watching the movie reminded me of how upset some of my fellow students got when they learned that all the books of The Bible were written decades after the events they relate. And that they were most likely written by anonymous authors, rather than the people who’s names are attached to them. I didn’t understand their feelings. The reason I was studying was to expand my knowledge. I expected my studies to shake up my belief system.

Some students didn’t like learning that what they’d been taught might be wrong. They had never considered that The Bible was written in one ancient language, then translated into three or four other languages before it was translated into English. Each version couldn’t help but be interpreted by a human being through the lens of their own culture and prejudices. I think what the students didn’t want to accept was that The Bible couldn’t possibly be dictated word for word by God. That’s not to say there aren’t truths within it but the concepts come through human filters.

Though I don’t remember all the details of what the source material was for each of the books of The Bible, I do remember I felt excited when I was told that the documents were written by ordinary people trying to make sense out of their extraordinary experiences. Or that they were trying to record the stories of the encounters their ancestors had with the Divine. These stories had been passed down generation to generation word of mouth and the writers wanted to preserve them for posterity. That fact made me feel more connected to The Bible. People like me had tried to understand the human/God connection just like I was trying to do. Knowing that made me feel less alone.

There is a quote from the play/movie Inherit the Wind that I love. “The Bible is a book. It is a good book, but it is not the only book.” The play is about the historical Scopes trial that took place in 1925 and much of the dialogue in the trial scenes are lifted from witness testimony.

In the play and in real life, a teacher breaks the law and introduces his students to Darwin’s Theory of Evolution and is, of course, arrested for it. We’re still fighting over which is true, the creation story as written in The Bible, or the theory of evolution. Henry Drummond, the defense attorney, based on the real life attorney, Clarence Darrow, is the one who says the above quote and posits the idea that maybe both viewpoints are true. I love that idea because I think he was right, The Bible is just one example of human beings trying to understand our relationship with the Divine.

There are so many documents that are considered scripture that attempt to do the same thing. Each one has a different perspective of who we are, why we’re here, how we were created, and what our relationship to a divine power might be. I think those are the biggest questions we humans have and lots of people, not just religious leaders, try to find the answers to those questions. Darwin was just one of them.

People who pursue careers in the arts, humanities and sciences are trying to answer those same questions. They dig for information, or they do experiments, or explore, or interpret their own experience onto canvas, into dance, or they use the written word to try to understand what it means to be a human being. They aren’t any different than the people who wrote the documents of The Bible. And yet, as we grow in understanding and new information comes to light, we get an opportunity to adjust our belief systems.

I’ve never stopped being curious about how humans relate to the Divine. I’m always looking for that element in all my entertainment, in the discussions I have with friends, family and my students. When I write, like many others before me, I’m trying to understand what it means to be a human being. That quest is one of the reasons I left the church. I didn’t want to be constrained by a particular doctrine. The world is much larger than that.

Thanks for reading, liking and commenting. I appreciate reading your thoughts. Have a lovely weekend on this Summer/Winter solstice.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2019

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a little bit like Outlander in that it’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, novel. Except that Jenna’s life is shattered. When she finds old journals, she joins consciousness with her three-times great-grandmother, Morgan, rather than traveling physically. She is able to come back at intervals and apply what she’s learned to her own life situations.

The Space Between Time is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords and for Kindle at Amazon, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news when the audiobook version is published. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.

Fear is the Mind Killer!

A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

The title of this post is a quote from Dune by Frank Herbert. It points out something basic. Fear robs us of our ability to think clearly and it keeps us from loving one another. For some reason we humans have chosen to live in fear rather than in love. And yet so many of us profess we long for a loving world. Living in fear flips everything we do to the opposite of what we profess we want. We act to protect ourselves in all kinds of weird ways rather than leading with love.

I see evidence of humans being ruled by fear on the news almost every day. Police kill unarmed people because they think they have a weapon, politicians create laws to control groups they fear, a gunman opens fire on innocent people, religious and ethnic groups are demonized, and on any given day you can find people venting their fear on social media.

If you look, you can find the opposite, people acting out of love, but it is harder to find those stories because fear sells.

As Herbert’s quote indicates, fear robs us of logical thinking and of feeling any tender emotions. It often rears its head as anger. Many people believe if they express their anger, they are strong. But that’s not always the case. There is a difference between expressing anger out of fear, and righteous anger challenging an injustice. We need to know the difference.

There are too many instances of people acting out of fear to write about them all in this post, though in reality, they are all aspects of the same problem. So, I will focus on what is perhaps the oldest manifestation of fear, men and women.

Since the Me Too movement began there has been a huge backlash all based in fear. This is just one in a long line of gains for women, that men then attempt to roll back. One of the big battles right now is abortion rights. For a few years now, mostly white men have been trying to scale back women’s reproductive rights.

First they tried to shut down Planned Parenthood so that women could not get free or discounted access to contraceptives. The message was, “Women are not allowed to have sex outside of marriage.” It’s a new version of the old double standard. Men can behave as badly as they want and not suffer any repercussions. But women are viewed as either pure as the driven snow, or they’re sluts. There is no in between. The pure women are controlled through fear, the sluts are censured and vilified.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the continued attempts to overturn Roe V. Wade has resulted in nine states passing laws to ban abortion. These proponents in favor of curtailing women’s reproductive rights claim to be pro-life, but as Sister Joan Chittster says, “They are pro-birth, not pro-life.” If these people were pro-life they would support programs that help women and their children, or help women not have unwanted children. But they squash proposed laws to help women with the logic, women got themselves into this mess, now they must live with the consequences. In lawmaker’s minds, a woman’s dire situation is God’s punishment. Hmmm, I wonder what Jesus would do in this situation?

Men and women! I have often wondered why men try to control women. I have felt rage on more than one occasion when men have tried to control my decisions, or treated me like a piece of meat. Just who did they think they were to tell me what to do, or to assume that I was theirs just because they wanted me? The only answer I can come up with is that at some deep existential level, men fear women. Maybe men are afraid of the light in us. It reminds them of who they really are so they have to bully us. And it makes them write stories about how God created man first, and women from the man’s rib to convince themselves they are superior to women. Really? I have never bought that story!

I’m convinced that men are the ones who came up with the ideas that control is love, aggression is strength, emotions are weak, and men are the only ones who are capable of logical thinking. They convinced lots of us that we need to be afraid of the light that we all possess within us.

It’s an extraordinary man, and I’ve known quite a few, who can form a true partnership with a woman. They’re confident in who they are and don’t need to beat their chests to prove it. They lead from the back of the group, they are not afraid to show tender emotions, and they honor everyone. Spiritual teachers call this type of man someone connected to the sacred masculine. Jesus is one example of such a man. He embraced and integrated both masculine and feminine qualities within his being.

I just finished reading the book The Lost Sisterhood by Julia Ingram, a master regression therapist and spiritual counselor, in which she points out that many of the qualities we associate with Jesus are classified as feminine: gentleness, compassion, patience, caring for the sick and the poor, and the love of children. His mission was to try to help all human beings embrace these attributes. I find it interesting that so many men, and even some women, who claim to be followers of Jesus Christ, have rejected these traits as beneath them. They much prefer the aggressive, vengeful god of the Old Testament.

I think Marianne Williamson, who is running for president, is right. We all need to take a serious look at our spiritual and moral belief systems. We need to engage in serious discussions about what is wrong with this world, and what we can do to make changes for the better. If we want a better world, we have some adjustments to make in our thinking and feelings about each other. The assumptions we’ve made about God’s teachings are breaking down. We got it wrong. It’s a perfect time amid all this turmoil to take a step back and reevaluate the true principles of those teachers we have revered all our lives.

Almost all religions assert that loving one another is the highest achievement we can aspire to. Unfortunately, through the centuries, we got off that path. We became full of fear and to protect ourselves we created false separations. We grasped for power and possessions thinking those things would protect us. But they won’t. They are false gods.

It’s the energy of love that will save us. Learning to love is a very personal endeavor that begins with forgiving and loving ourselves first. I can speak from personal experience, it’s not easy to give up fear and learn to love myself warts and all. There are so many days when I fall into fear, or anger, or blame. But when I can let go of those emotions and just love and accept people for who they are, I feel at peace. Feeling that way makes me want to continue to strive to see every human being as precious no matter what their outer behaviors. It’s a process I’ve committed myself to no matter how imperfectly I do it.

Welcome to my new followers. Thanks for your comments and likes. I appreciate you being willing to share your thoughts with me.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2019

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a little bit like Outlander in that it’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, novel. Except that Jenna’s life is shattered. When she finds old journals, she joins consciousness with her three-times great-grandmother, Morgan, rather than traveling physically. She is able to come back at intervals and apply what she’s learned to her own life situations.

The Space Between Time is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords and for Kindle at Amazon, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news when the audiobook version is published. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.

Change of Heart

Old Woman Lisbon, Portugal by Pedro Rebeiro Simões

“We need to hear stories from older women. There’s a wealth of wisdom and real resilience there, but they’re silenced.” ~ Hanna Gadsby

“Because you are women, people will force their thinking on you, their boundaries on you. They will tell you how to dress, how to behave, who you can meet and where you can go. Don’t live in the shadows of people’s judgement. Make your own choices in the light of your own wisdom.” ~ Amitabh Bachchan

For the last few years I’ve been learning to be a crone. The origin of that word has it a negative connotation, as illustrated in many fairy tales with wicked witches who capture and eat children. Baba Yaga is the prime example of an ugly, ill-tempered crone. Thankfully in the last decades, crone has been redefined as a wise older woman who has much to teach others. That’s the part of me I embrace, a woman who has experienced much, learned from her mistakes, and now has wisdom to share.

One of the big mistakes I’ve made has been to keep my mouth shut when I should be speaking out about how I view situations in the world. When I’ve broken my rule of silence, I’ve created controversy by stating my true opinion. Standing in the eye of a storm of controversy is an uncomfortable place to be. And yet, today, I’m going to change my rules and begin to express exactly how I feel about a number of topics beginning with our current political landscape.

Over the past two and a half years, I’ve felt disbelief that there are people who can’t see that Donald Trump, by his own statements and actions, has proven to be an immoral misogynist, racists, narcissist who only cares about making himself look good. He has incited hatred and violence. Investigators and reporters are discovering just how deep his corruption goes. He’s not fit to be our president in any way shape or form. And yet, I can’t deny that before the electoral college made him president, I was asleep politically and the shock of such a person rising to the Oval Office made me wake up. I firmly believe that it is no accident that he became president. Some force bigger than us is looking out for our best interests. They know we resist change until we’re forced to do so by being confronted with dark events or people.

Before the 2016 election, I thought I was becoming enlightened because I studied and listened to spiritual teachers like Marianne Williamson and tried to practice what they taught. A few years before the 2016 election, she and other teachers of her caliber, were urging their followers and students to become politically involved. The idea is that if enough of us who desire a new society become active participants, instead of hiding away from all the bad things happening in the world, we will actually be able to transform our society. That’s why she became a candidate for president in the 2016 election and is running again for the 2020 election. She wants to bring her ideas for a more peaceful and humanitarian society to the national discussion. She believes that we need to educate ourselves and not only vote, but engage with our elected officials, and possibly even run for office.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I said to myself. I hate politics because whether it’s at the office, school, or in government, it always seems to be about jostling for power, control, or for financial gain. It never seems to be about what might be best for the people involved. But as I walked through the door on election night after teaching my class and was greeted with the news that Trump had won the election, I changed my mind. My unease got worse when the news pundits said that Clinton won the popular vote, but Trump the electoral college. That wasn’t right! The electoral college is supposed to support their state’s vote count. Then stories began cropping up in the news that the Russians had interfered in our elections and that was the clincher. Marianne was right. I needed to pay attention and stop insulating myself from what I perceived as negative news.

I was finally ready to pay more attention, even though it was detrimental to my nervous system. However, I knew I could find a balance between being an informed citizen and discovering a way to release all the negativity I stored up from the seemingly never ending horror of current events.

These past two and half years of trying to find the balance, I’ve come to some important discoveries. First, I still need to limit my news intake. When I get stressed out by the day’s events, I read a book, meditate, watch a movie, or enjoy listening to and laughing with comedians like Stephen Colbert. Surprisingly it also helps to listen to more than one side of any news story. It’s difficult when my take on a situation is challenged by a pundit, or reporter, but it has helped me form a more well rounded picture of what’s actually going on.

Another thing I decided to do was to sit down and read The Mueller Report. In the past when these types of reports came out, I would assume they were written in legalese, which makes my head spin. But, when I began reading the report I was happy to find that it is in plain language that anyone can understand. Just reading the introduction and first few pages made me cringe. By accounts from people in both parties, Robert Mueller is a man of high integrity which means that as the report states, the Russians did interfere in our elections. In fact the Russians began their attack as early as 2014. Instead of declaring actual warfare, they are using information, and social media in their march to expand their influence. And it seems we’re not the only country they’ve targeted.

Another thing has become clear to me as I’ve become more aware of what’s happening politically; the Republican party has been quietly advancing their agenda for thirty or forty years by voter suppression, gerrymandering, blocking any legislation that doesn’t suit their goals, and placing as many of their cronies around the country in positions of power as they can. They use propaganda language to influence people’s thinking using words like liberal as a dirty word, calling us snowflakes, and using other nasty language against their opponents. Their tactic is to strike first, because we often believe the first thing we hear. The person put on the defensive looks weak. The leaders of the Republican party are bullies who think that if they control people and circumstances on the outside, they’ll be safe.

Here’s what I know about bullies after 48 years of teaching and observing them at work. They become bullies to protect themselves because they are deeply afraid. In reality bullies are cowards. The only way to stop them is to stand up and challenge them. When we do that, they eventually crumble. They have an opportunity to learn a great lesson from being forced to face their own fears. But as history shows, most of them don’t repent. They either destroy themselves, or they are exiled or killed by their opponents.

Now, I’m not saying that Democrats and progressives are perfect. Some are just as afraid and dictatorial as conservatives. Nevertheless, there are many more people on their side who use their political positions to be FOR PEOPLE rather than to gain power or prestige. I’ve listened to several of the many Democratic candidates for president and am happy that they are willing to address the tough questions facing our country. That’s refreshing. I’m sure there are moderate Republicans who are more people oriented than the current group in power. I hope they stand up for what they believe in. Also it would be nice if we all began true dialogue to dispel this us-VS-them mentality. I believe one day that will happen.

I wrote this post as my pledge to take my head out of the sand, face the situation in the United States as forthrightly as I can, and do something about it in ways that suit my talents. Writing my authentic feelings about the situation is one way. To be informed is another. That’s why I’m reading The Mueller Report and I encourage you to do the same. If he testifies before Congress, I’ll be watching.

But remember, I stand by your right to disagree with me. I just hope you do it as a caring informed citizen.

Thanks for reading. I appreciate your likes and comments. Welcome to my new followers.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2019

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a little bit like Outlander in that it’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, novel. Except that Jenna’s life is shattered. When she finds old journals, she joins consciousness with her three-times great-grandmother, Morgan, rather than traveling physically. She is able to come back at intervals and apply what she’s learned to her own life situations.

The Space Between Time is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords and for Kindle at Amazon, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news when the audiobook version is published. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.

The Writing Life

“If something inside of you is real, we will probably find it interesting, and it will probably be universal. So you must risk placing real emotion at the center of your work. Write straight into the emotional center of things. Write toward vulnerability. Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it. If you’re a writer you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act – truth is always subversive.” ~ Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life.

I don’t often post about what it’s like for me to be a writer, but today Anne Bogel’s blog was about her writing life. I love her podcast, “What Should I Read Next,” and have mentioned it before. But I’ve never mentioned that she not only has two podcasts, but a blog as well. I don’t know how she keeps up with those endeavors along with social media, writing books, and being a mom all at the same time. I have a hard enough time teaching one or two classes, writing this blog once a week and working on my books. I admire people who are organized.

It’s not that I’m not organized, it’s that I’m not the spread-sheet-making-lists-ticking-every-item-off-the-list kind of organized. My organization is more in the keeping-a-notebook-with-all the-jumble-of information-in-it kind.

Many articles and books have been produced about the different types of writers. Some writers create outlines and once they’ve plotted everything out to their satisfaction they then sit down and follow that outline to the letter. There are those who do a little bit of plotting, but leave it flexible in case inspiration strikes. Other writers get ideas for individual scenes write them and then organize them later into a viable story. Then there are writers at the opposite end of the spectrum from the plotters who sit down with an idea and begin to write. They may have only a starting and maybe an endpoint but they trust that the story will appear as they write. These writers are called “pantsers,” because they write by the seat of their pants.

I’m a little bit of a “get an idea for a scene” type, and a “pantser.” Oh, I do write a brief timeline for my characters at the beginning of the process, but often inspiration leads me in other directions and the original timeline is left behind.

For me, the hardest part of writing is the initial getting the story down on paper stage. It’s a little bit like listening to a voice on a mistuned radio. I know the voice has great ideas, I just can’t hear them clearly. So, I write in starts and stops to begin with. Once I get about 15,000 words in, the story begins to take shape in my mind. That’s when I wake up with more scene ideas to add to the story.

Once I get to a certain point, which I feel in my gut, I know it’s time to revise. I love revising the various drafts, because I get more ideas in that netherworld between sleeping and waking, or when I’m doing some tedious household chore. The feeling such inspiration gives me is exhilarating. It’s that feeling that keeps me writing.

Okay, I admit the final line editing process is tedious. When we were editing The Space Between Time, it seemed as if the process would never end. Even after printing out the entire book and going over it more than once, with what I thought was great care, we still had to order more than one proof because we found so many errors in each one. That kind of detail work is just not for me.

Having written all that, I have to say that no matter what method a writer uses, to make any progress, we have to sit down and write almost everyday. If we don’t the creativity well dries up.

Also, the environment might be important. Some people can write no matter where they find themselves. As a highly sensitive person, I need quiet to be able to concentrate so I can hear the subtle guidance that comes when I’m working. If there is too much noise, I can’t concentrate.

When the fire was lit under me to commit to being a writer, I realized what had been holding me back. It was self-doubt and believing that there were too many obstacles in the way to accomplish my goal. Those are difficult hurdles to overcome. I do not blame anyone for having self-doubt staring them in the face. It takes a great deal of personal work to overcome our demons to start whatever creative project we feel compelled to begin. At least, it did for me. But now that I’ve been writing for several years, I’ve found such fulfillment that I’m grateful I ignored those nasty little voices in my head and jumped in.

Even though I’ve published a novel and a children’s book, I still feel vulnerable about whether or not they are good. But here’s another thing about engaging in any creative endeavor, you get better the more you practice. I’m a much better writer than I was when I began eleven years ago. I may never be as good as the great authors, but there’s a part of me that knows it doesn’t matter. There is something about creating a work of art that has never existed before that is important. Figuring out myself, and making my contribution, no matter how humble, is why I write.

Oh, and by the way, I will begin the audiobook for The Space Between Time, on Monday. My husband and I are uploading the ebook version to Amazon this weekend.

Thanks for reading, liking and commenting. Welcome to my new followers. I hope you get to enjoy your weekend.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2019

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a little bit like Outlander in that it’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, novel. Except that Jenna’s life is shattered. When she finds old journals, she joins consciousness with her three-times great-grandmother, Morgan, rather than traveling physically. She is able to come back at intervals and apply what she’s learned to her own life situations.

The Space Between Time is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords and Amazon, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand copy at Amazon. Stay tuned for news when the audiobook version is published. You can follow her on Facebook or Goodreads. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.