Why I Won’t “Resist”

“This is one of the great metaphors of life: Move with the flow. Don’t fight the current. Resist nothing. Let life carry you, don’t try to carry it.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

“There are three words that convey the art of living, secret of all success and happiness: One with life.” ~ Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth.

“Life can take care of itself. … Most of us are so used to the idea that we need to control our lives. The notion that life can take care of itself from our awareness seems impossible but the infinite intelligence of consciousness has always been taking care of life.” ~ Deepak Chopra

“I find hope in the darkest of days and focus in the brightness. I do not judge the universe.” ~ Dalai Lama

This has been the longest three months of my life. But it’s been a great time of growth too.

When Trump was inaugurated and the roll-back of all the social services that protect the environment and help people began, I was ready to join the resistance movement. Yet, over the years I’ve learned that when I resist events in my life, I’m more miserable because my problems grow bigger. Resistance keeps me stuck in victimhood and focused on my problems rather than looking for a solution.

I was fortunate to learn this fairly early in my life. When I was in college I experienced a series of life shattering events. During this time, someone suggested I buy a journal, which I did. For the first month or two, or three, all I did was complain. But miraculously one day I wrote, “What am I supposed to be learning from all this?” And that’s when my life began to transform. That question moved my attention from my problems to possible solutions. It helped me begin to examine my attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors that were contributing to my unhappiness.

Change happens whether we want it to or not. It’s like waves lapping up on the shore. We can’t stop them even if we wanted to. I’m not a surfer, but I imagine that to be good at that sport you have to learn to go with the flow. Once you’re up on that board riding that wave, you have to be sensitive to the flow of the water and make adjustments accordingly. It seems to me that if you misread the flow, or the new direction the wave is headed, you fall. But the beauty of surfing is that you can get up and ride the next wave, and possibly end up in a different place from where you began. I think it’s better to go with the flow rather than try to make the water go where we want it to. That never works. And besides, we’re not God. We can’t see the whole ocean. We can either trust the flow of life, or we can cause ourselves all kinds of pain fighting against the current.

For this reason, I trust life to take care of life. Whether we want it to or not progress happens, and right now I think old structures are getting washed away. We’ve fallen into the water and are trying desperately not to drown. We can relax, hold on to the board and let the wave take us safely to shore, or we can yell at the wave and fight to get back to where we fell. It’s our choice.

When I hear the word resistance, I think back to all the times in my life when I resisted growth, or the truth about myself. When I fought, I was miserable. When I allowed myself to feel my true emotions, they dissipated much faster, and I could see solutions that were hidden in plain sight while I was focusing on the problem.

Two weeks ago I joined Oprah and Deepak’s latest 21 day meditation series, “Hope in Uncertain Times.” As they have guided me through these powerful meditations, I have come to understand that the tide of human evolution has turned. Most of us have been shaken from our apathy. We’re finding purpose in standing up for the world we’d like to live in. We’re doing that in big and small ways. The phone calls, and demonstrations are peaceful, but powerful because we know what we want and we’re not giving up.

The contrast between those of who are going with the flow of change, and those who are fighting the current is very apparent. Some of our leaders want to turn back the clock, but that’s impossible. Therefore I have to trust that soon the wave will rush into shore and we’ll see ways to build better systems to replace the old.

Recently a Facebook friend of mine showed me a great way to contribute to the rebuilding process. She shared that her life has been very stressful for some time now. Yet, one day she passed a homeless man sitting on the sidewalk in the rain near her house. It seemed to her that his need was greater than hers, so she made a sandwich and took it too him. She wrote that she was learning to “Give what you can when you can.” Giving that man a sandwich helped her feel better about herself and her situation. I found that inspiring. When she helped that man, her focus changed from her problems to a small solution for someone else. I think I’ll follow her lead, because when more of us do what we can, when we can, we create a larger and larger flow of change. And change, like water, cuts through the hardest substance given enough time.

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Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2017