On Being Human

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“I’m a human being, with feelings and emotions and scars and flaws, just like everyone else.” ~ Josh Gordon

I don’t know why this is, but we deny we have emotions. We’re emotional beings, but we don’t want anyone to know what we’re feeling. It’s as if we’re ashamed of having emotions. On some level we think we can hide how we’re feeling. It’s true not everyone will notice because they are too wrapped up in their own emotions, but there will be people who will see and understand. If they ridicule you for having feelings, they are probably trying to deflect attention from their own emotional mess.

As you have guessed by the posts I’ve been making this year, I’ve been thinking a lot about emotions and how they affect our actions. That’s probably because of my theatre background. Theatre people analyze the characters down to the minutest detail. Not to mention, the news is splattered with how emotions have caused some really horrific acts already this year. When shootings, or brutality, or wars happen, we throw up our hands and say, “There is nothing we can do about it. It’s just the way things are.” But that’s not true.

I believe that writers, movie makers, and artists of all kinds are plugged into their emotions. They’re trying to excavate something in themselves and express it so others can feel it and examine it too. Octavia Butler, the famous Sci-Fi writer, said, “Everything I create, creates me. I write to create myself.”

Years ago in a church service I attended, the minister said, “The only way to make this world a better place is to do our own personal work first.” And I adopted that as my modus operandi. I had been working on myself for several years before that day, but that sermon helped me see that we’re all drops in a larger ocean and if we delete the pollution from ourselves, the ocean becomes cleaner.

I think I’m a bit like Octavia Butler, I write to figure out what and how I’m thinking and feeling. I write to try to heal some of those jumbled emotions that we all have. Most of us think that if we acknowledge those dark places, we’ll get stuck there. That’s really scary. 

There are people who live with extremely mixed up emotions. Most of the time, we identify them as having mental illness, but as a lay person, I believe that mental illness is deeply connected to unhealed emotions. 

Recently Barry and I watched Star Trek: Discovery. I have wanted to watch it for a long time, but we only recently got Paramount +. The thing I loved about the arc of the four seasons that have been published so far is that the main character, Michael Burnham begins as a person full of fears and emotional traumas that cause her to commit mutiny to save the people she loves. Season four ends with her embracing her emotions, allowing herself to be vulnerable in front of her crew. As sci-fi stories go, captains are kind of like kings, they must be strong for their crew supposedly to ease their fears. But in Discovery, the fact that Captain Burnham allows herself to be seen as not perfect and emotional, gives her crew permission to admit that at times they’re not okay either. Burnham’s example is that she gives herself permission to feel her emotions for a time, then she gets back to work. She sets the example that you have to allow yourself to feel deep emotions before you can move on. It’s also okay not to have all the answers. That’s when she relies on her crew to be creative and come up with solutions to their current problem. This brings the crew closer together. They rely on one another to a very high degree. To me, Discovery is the perfect example of great leadership. Burnham grows into a highly emotionally intelligent person as the series progresses and so does her crew.

Some, many in fact, of the user reviews for Discovery are disparaging of the show. One reviewer titled his review of the last episode of season four, “Weak, weak, weak.” When I read that I knew that this person doesn’t get it. Being emotionally vulnerable is one of the bravest things we can do because we give others permission to embrace their own emotions. Those kind of people are extraordinarily strong. When we are emotionally vulnerable, we trust that things will eventually work out, and we create enduring connections with others. Isn’t that what we all want?

There is a simple prayer we can say to help ourselves and others heal. It is called Ho’oponopono. It’s actually an ancient Hawaiian spiritual practice. When we say the words of the prayer, we are accepting total responsibility for everything that surrounds us. It involves, confession, repentance, and reconciliation. I have found it to be a powerful tool for not only healing myself, but those I love as well. The prayer goes like this: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” It’s deceptively simple, but if you say it everyday and apply it to situations in your personal life, the lives of those around you, and even world events, remarkable things begin to happen.   

As you may have guessed by now, I use lots of different tools, stories are only one of them, to figure out my own emotions and clear out old wounds to get a higher perspective on how to be a better human being.

What tools do you use to live a happier more fulfilled life?

Have a blessed week ahead. Thanks for reading, commenting and liking these posts.

Blessings,

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2023

The Space Between Time 

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards.

Have you ever experienced life shattering events? Yeah, after the last few years, most of us have. In The Space Between Time, Jenna Holden gets slammed by her fiancé walking out, her mother’s untimely death, and losing her job all in one week. But she receives unexpected help when she finds her three-times great-grandmother’s journals and begins the adventure of a lifetime.

The Space Between Time is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords and for Kindle at Amazon, or you can find the ebook at iBooks or Barnes and Noble. If you prefer a physical copy, you can find a print-on-demand version at Amazon. Stay tuned for news when the audiobook version is published.

Lucinda is also the host of Story-Power a podcast where she and her guests discuss their creative endeavors, and/or the stories that have changed their lives. It’s available here on Sage Woman Chronicles and on Apple, Google, and Spotify podcast apps. Please rate and leave a review. It helps people find me.

Patreon

I’m so passionate about stories that I created the Story-Power podcast and Patreon communities so I’d have an excuse to talk story with other story lovers. If you’re passionate about stories too, and want to talk about what you’ve learned from your favorites, come join me at patreon.com/StoryPower.

PodMatch

If you are a podcaster, or have a message or fantastic product you want to share with the world, I encourage you to check out PodMatch. Use the affiliate link and tell them, Lucinda sent you. Then contact me so we can set up a Story-Power chat.