Ready for a Change

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~ Anaïs Nin

“To put meaning in one’s life may end in madness, But life without meaning is the torture Of restlessness and vague desire-it is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid.” ~ Edgar Lee Masters

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.” ~ Anaïs Nin

I’ve been feeling restless lately and ready for something new. One of my character flaws is that I do not understand people who resist change. It’s hard for me to understand living in one place for an entire lifetime, or working at the same job or thirty years, or never learning anything new.

I suspect I love change so much because I got a healthy dose of my father’s wanderlust. He was always looking for a better way to support us, consequently we moved a lot. But I think part of the reason we moved so often was because once dad had learned all he could from one job, he was ready to move on and learn something new. I’m feeling like that now. I’ve been teaching at our local community college for nine years and I’m ready for some new ideas or even a change of job.

When I got the idea to direct Measure for Measure I wanted to do it because I had never directed a Shakespeare play before. As I began working on it, I had a strong feeling that this was my swan song at Cochise College. I don’t know if this is true but I’ve got that feeling of wanderlust. I want to write in a new genre, take a class or two in subjects I’ve never tried before, go on vacation to a new location, or … I don’t know. I’m waiting for inspiration!

Even though I love changing career directions, or creative projects often, sometimes I envy people who have one focus for their lives. They have one thing they are interested in doing and they spend their entire lives learning and working in the same field. It must be satisfying to dig deeply into a subject always learning something on an ever deeper level.

I guess I’ve done that with theatre and hope to do that with writing too. The arts, or any kind of creative endeavor is like that, the creator never stops learning. Since that’s true, maybe my restlessness is not so much about careers, but something else. A stirring of some kind at a soul level, something whispering to me to break out and try something new.

Maybe I’ll finally learn Spanish or go on vacation, or meet some new people, or I just don’t know. I hope this next week during spring break, I’ll get a clue.

Thanks for reading. I appreciate your comments and likes.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2018

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, women’s novel, and is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords, and print-on-demand at Amazon and other fine book sellers. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.

Trying Something New

Revised book cover for The Space Between Time

“Be brave enough to try something new; you might just succeed.” ~ Stacey Kehoe

“I want to keep trying something new all the time. It is the only way to grow.” ~ Akkineni Nagarjuna

“I’m open for possibilities. I’m open for choices. I always welcome new ideas. I’m always eager to learn. I’m never going to close my mind from learning.” ~ Cesar Millan

Last week I learned something new. I poked around on my WordPress page and discovered how to embed a video into this blog. I was so proud of myself. I could have asked my husband, my resident tech geek, for help but I wanted to learn how to do it for myself so I would remember how to do it again on another occasion.

Something else I learned last week was how to create and edit an audio recording in Garage Band, the music/voice app for the Mac. I did that because – drum roll – I wanted to add an audio of myself reading the first chapters of my book.

You see, I want to create an audio version of The Space Between Time this year and I thought I might try out a few chapters on all my social networks, and here with you in this blog. They do it with plays and movies, do what they call tryouts to see how it will be received. I’m doing that to see if I can get feedback because, even though I have acted in the past, I’m not a professional actor. And it’s been a really long time since I’ve been on the stage. Let me just say that my first attempt was not very good. Today, I’m sharing my second attempt. It may take me awhile before I get back into the acting groove.

The section I’m sharing today is a short beginning portion of chapter one. I had to create a YouTube video, but I’ll keep working on creating just an audio version. I hope you enjoy it, or if not please give me some constructive feedback.

Thanks for reading, and listening. I appreciate your likes and comments.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2018

Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, women’s novel, and is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords, and print-on-demand at Amazon and other fine book sellers. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.

Restless Curiosity

Tarantula Nebula
Tarantula Nebula

“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” ~ Walt Disney

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” ~ Albert Einstein

“As children, our imaginations are vibrant, and our hearts are open. We believe that the bad guy always loses and that the tooth fairy sneaks into our rooms at night to put money under our pillow. Everything amazes us, and we think everything is possible. We continuously experience life with a sense of newness and unbridled curiosity.” ~ Yehuda Berg

For the last week or so I’ve been getting ready for a new semester, while at the same time doing a long overdue clearing, and reorganizing of my office. I thought I’d feel better getting these tasks done, but I don’t. I feel anxious and restless as evidenced by the fact that I’m having a difficult time meditating, not able to concentrate on my Tai Chi, and on top of it all, reading at night has become a chore. All of this is not like me at all. Finally this morning I understood what’s going on. It’s because I’m not making time to write. My mind is filled with all kinds of ideas for the projects I’m working on, but I haven’t taken the time to put them into the computer. The only writing I’ve done is to keep up with these weekly blog posts.

This break in my creative expression has caused a great deal of tension between what needs to be done, and what I long to be doing. The tension is getting so bad that I’m feeling shaky, muddled, and irritated.

My sister and I were talking on the phone about this very thing the other day – we talk almost every day – and she was saying that her back has been bothering her, she’s having trouble sleeping, and her job has become extremely boring. The reason she is experiencing these irritations is because she’s planning a new venture but there have been irritating little things holding up the process. However, instead of waiting for the perfect time to get started, she’s just going to begin. I’m excited for her and I completely understand what she’s experiencing. I’m feeling like that too. So I’m going to follow her example and go back to making writing my top priority again, even though I’m not quite finished with my other tasks. I know doing this will restore the balance in my well-being.

Recently I’ve written about how I’m working on changing my thoughts so I can create a new life, and during that process it has been driven home in a bigger way than ever before that our health and happiness depend on being able to do what we love. Yes, we may have to hold down that job to be able to write or paint, or garden, but making as much time to do what we love best in the world is extremely important. I feel sad for people who don’t know what it is they love doing above all else.

Some advice I picked up from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic, is just what I need to be concentrating on right now. Perhaps it will help you too. The advice is this, if you want to live a creative life, you need to follow your curiosity. I love doing this. It’s something I learned from my dad. He would watch something on television, or get an idea from something he read and then he’d follow the thread to learn more about the subject. His curiosity knew no bounds. Often when we were taking family trips, he’d look for fun detours so we could learn something new and interesting. I loved those side trips.

My recent descent into restlessness just points out the fact that I’ve let myself get into a rut. It’s time to shake up my life and try some new activities. Which is why I’ll go back to writing the fantasy story I began this summer about a girl and a dragon. To that end I’ve been reading lots of young adult fiction, fantasy and medieval historical books. Though I love reading these types of stories, I’ve never tried to write one before. These books have given me an education about how to turn a known genre on it’s head and make it new and exciting. That’s what I’d like to do. It’s a fun challenge. But just recently I tripped myself up when I made the decision to read a mystery. While I love a good mystery, reading one now doesn’t help my process of writing a fantasy story, which is why I’ll go back to learning as much as I can from the genre I’m now working on.

As the summer is winding down and we’re getting back into fall and winter routines, I will look for other interesting opportunities and activities to help feed my creativity. I hope you’ll join me in trying something new. Who knows where our curiosity will lead us.

Thanks for following. I hope you share this with your friends and family.

Lucinda Sage-Midgorden © 2016