“Be brave enough to try something new; you might just succeed.” ~ Stacey Kehoe
“I want to keep trying something new all the time. It is the only way to grow.” ~ Akkineni Nagarjuna
“I’m open for possibilities. I’m open for choices. I always welcome new ideas. I’m always eager to learn. I’m never going to close my mind from learning.” ~ Cesar Millan
Last week I learned something new. I poked around on my WordPress page and discovered how to embed a video into this blog. I was so proud of myself. I could have asked my husband, my resident tech geek, for help but I wanted to learn how to do it for myself so I would remember how to do it again on another occasion.
Something else I learned last week was how to create and edit an audio recording in Garage Band, the music/voice app for the Mac. I did that because – drum roll – I wanted to add an audio of myself reading the first chapters of my book.
You see, I want to create an audio version of The Space Between Time this year and I thought I might try out a few chapters on all my social networks, and here with you in this blog. They do it with plays and movies, do what they call tryouts to see how it will be received. I’m doing that to see if I can get feedback because, even though I have acted in the past, I’m not a professional actor. And it’s been a really long time since I’ve been on the stage. Let me just say that my first attempt was not very good. Today, I’m sharing my second attempt. It may take me awhile before I get back into the acting groove.
The section I’m sharing today is a short beginning portion of chapter one. I had to create a YouTube video, but I’ll keep working on creating just an audio version. I hope you enjoy it, or if not please give me some constructive feedback.
Thanks for reading, and listening. I appreciate your likes and comments.
Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, women’s novel, and is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords, and print-on-demand at Amazon and other fine book sellers. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.
“Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain … To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.” ~ Kevyn Aucoin
“Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.” ~ Joseph Campbell
“Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host again difficulties.” ~ Helen Keller
During my meditation and study this morning, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I have not had enough moments of unbridled joy in my life and that made me sad for a moment. It’s not enough to let go of fear, which I’m working on. I need to stop being so repressed and allow myself to express joy and not care what anyone thinks about it.
Then, in Pam Grout’s post about today’s A Course In Miracles lesson she said that the course can be summed up in 11 words: The universe has your back and everything’s going to be okay, which to me means I don’t have to control any of the things I thought I had to keep my eye on. I’m free to look around and appreciate the beauty of the world, or enjoy conversations with students, family, or friends, or have fun reading a good book or watching a movie. I can enjoy teaching, writing and directing. I can even enjoy going grocery shopping, or running errands. The decision about how I feel about my life is inside my head and heart.
The most important thing I have to remind myself about all the time is that my thoughts, feelings and actions aren’t confined to just me. They are energy which projects out and affect everything and everyone. Knowing that makes me feel even more committed to sharing the positive emotions rather than the negative. I want to be one of those people others want to be with because they feel good when I’m around. Don’t we avoid people who make us feel horrible? I know I do because after spending even a small amount of time around them, I feel exhausted.
So, I’m going to spread a little joy today by sharing the same Matt Harding video Pam shared in her blog. I don’t know why, but I cry every time I see this. And judging by the comments on his YouTube channel, I’m not the only one who weeps. The video makes me cry and laugh at the same time. Maybe it’s because I’m releasing all those negative emotions and making room for joy. Or maybe it’s because it’s the vision of the world I want to live in.
Thanks so much for reading. Have a joyful weekend.
Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, women’s novel, and is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords, and print-on-demand at Amazon and other fine book sellers. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.
“Life is a series of experiences each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward.” ~ Henry Ford
“We all get where we’re going by circuitous journeys, and some of the setbacks are warranted.” ~ Carol Burnett
Has this ever happened to you? You get an insight about something, or you learn a new skill and your world expands in some way. For awhile your new understanding is glorious and you feel so happy. But not long after something inside you gets frightened and rebels. It sets up an inner conflict which explodes making you feel unsettled and frightened, which causes you to lash out at those around you.
That happened to me last week. I’ve started doing A Course In Miracles daily exercises again this year and I got a profound insight that I wrote about a few posts back. I felt for the first time just how afraid I’ve been most of my life. But the thing is once I got that insight, I saw myself and my relationship to everything as free from fear. I saw myself creating a wonderful new life full of once unimaginable joyful experiences. For a day or two it was a glorious feeling. Then my ego said, “Oh no you don’t. I’m taking control back.” And I began to feel small, and anxious again.
It’s funny the way my ego will use little things to try to reel me back in. This time it was comments from my new critique partners about the first chapter of my new book. I got huffy and wanted to shoot nasty comments back and I even made some nasty comments to my husband about something completely trivial and totally unrelated. When I heard myself, I knew exactly what was happening.
So, I went to my journal to sort out my feelings. Writing always helps me get out the irksome emotions so I can tell my ego to go take a hike. When the negative feelings clear out, I see things much more clearly. What I figured out was that I wasn’t angry with my critique partners or my sweet husband. I was angry that I had let my ego sneak in and try to take control again.
I’ve been at this spiritual, self-awareness work for a long time, and what happened last week should not have come as a surprise to me. It’s always the same, two steps forward and one step back, or at least my ego would like me to take steps back. But once I’ve had that new insight, or learned that new skill, I can’t unsee or unlearn it. It’s kind of like those mind bending pictures artists do to try to get us to see the hidden words, or figures in their work. We stare at the picture and once we see what they’ve hidden, we can’t unsee it.
Even though there are things that unsettle me from time to time, I’m grateful I have the tools of writing and meditation to help me work things out. Sometimes I wonder what it must be like for people who don’t have any way to get rid of their fear. I wish I could help them. Maybe one way I can help is to be honest about my own stumbling journey. Another is to be kind. I’m not always good at either of those especially if I feel threatened, but I’ll keep working on it.
To end this post, I’ll include a review of my first book from a friend of mine sent a day after my little run in with my ego. It was totally unexpected and came just at the right time.
“Recently, I finished reading a book titled, The Space Between Time, by my friend, Lucinda Sage-Midgorden. It was the best book I’ve read in a long time. It kept me captivated, which I have not experienced from any other book for the past couple of years. I loved all the little gems of meaningful and what I call spiritual statements throughout the book. You know, those words that make you pause and think, and sometimes have an “aha” from or a deeper awareness about something. And it was entertaining and informational about some of the history in the 1800’s and yet, contemporary. It also reminded me of the importance of “living in community” and how important it is to help one another and be engaged in your community. Thank you Lucinda for a wonderful, entertaining and captivating book!” ~ Rita Gau
Thanks for reading. I appreciate your taking time out of your week to comment and like my posts.
Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, women’s novel, and is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords, and print-on-demand at Amazon and other fine book sellers. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.
“We are what they grow beyond.” ~ Yoda in Star Wars: The Last Jedi
“The young man pities his elder, fearing the day he, too, will join their ranks. The elderly man pities the younger generation, well-knowing the trials and tribulations that lie ahead of them.” ~ Lydia I Fisher
“America isn’t breaking apart at the seams. The American dream isn’t dying. Our new racial and ethnic complexion hasn’t triggered massive outbreaks of intolerance. Our generations aren’t at each other’s throats. They’re living more interdependently than at any time in recent memory, because that turns out to be a good coping strategy in hard times. Our nation faces huge challenges, no doubt. So do the rest of the world’s aging economic powers. If you had to pick a nation with the right stuff to ride out the coming demographic storm, you’d be crazy not to choose America, warts and all.” ~ Pew Research Center, The Next America: Boomers, Millennials, and the Looming Generational Showdown.
At the beginning of each new semester, I think anew about my students and what I will learn from them. Maybe it’s because I’m dedicated to life long learning that made me choose teaching as part of my career. My life is so much richer for the exchange of ideas that challenge my old ways of thinking and being and I’m grateful to meet new students each semester.
There are times when I feel angry and distressed when older people shake their heads and condemn the younger generations, or when the younger generations dismisses the contributions of those who came before them. The human race would never evolve if we had to begin all over again when a new generation emerges into the dominant positions as creators, leaders, inventors, and innovators. One generation must learn from the last and build on what they have contributed so that improvements can be made.
As I was preparing for my busy semester, I got to see Star Wars: The Last Jedi, for a second time. The first time I saw it, one quote stuck with me. It’s the one above by Yoda, “We are what they grow beyond.” I loved that statement. However, the second time through, I heard the second part of that quote, “and that is the pain (or maybe it was sorrow) we bear.” And I thought, “Wait what?” I don’t bear any burden if my students take something they’ve learned from me and use it to grow beyond my understanding or talents. That’s the joy and reward of teaching.
I’m not saying anything new when I state that we are in a time of great change and we have to rely upon one another even more than before, so when I found the above quote by the Pew Research Center, I rejoiced. I don’t want to tell my students or any of the younger generations that I’m smarter than they are. I want to learn from them and work with them to create a much more equitable, sustainable world in which to live. And I want to appreciate the many contributions of the generations that have gone before as well. Change is always disruptive, but in my mind, that’s a good thing. I’d get bored if my life was the same day after day with no hope for something new and exciting to look forward to. When the forces of change arrive, we get a chance to keep what works and throw out what no longer serves us. It’s a long process sometimes, but well worth the work.
I’m off to auditions for the play I’m directing, Measure for Measure and excited to hear what my students have to teach me about this play written so many centuries ago. It’s amazing that the works of Shakespeare contain so many ideas that apply to events today and give us clues about how to face our challenges.
Have a lovely weekend.
Thanks for reading, liking and commenting on my posts. I appreciate reading your take on what I’ve written.
Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction: Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, women’s novel, and is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords, and print-on-demand at Amazon and other fine book sellers. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.
“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside you.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
“I want all the girls watching here today to know that a new day is on the horizon.” ~ Oprah Winfrey
“… other than a few useful details, the past is mostly a prison. It prevents me from seeing and experiencing life as it is now.” ~ Pam Grout
I came to a shocking awareness this morning. I’ve been afraid most of my life. I don’t think I’m alone in this given many of the posts I read on social media. You probably already know the details of how fear has reared it’s ugly head for me, because that insipid monster in your head tries to undermine you too. Fortunately, three events came together to help me see myself and my life in a new way.
First, as I often do in the winter, I opened the blinds to look at the sunrise. It was particularly beautiful this morning with the clouds over the San Jose Mountains turning shades of pink, peach and orange.
Second, Barry and I watched Oprah’s amazing speech at The Golden Globes, and wept together. The tide is turning and the more people who speak up about what has happened to them, the harder it is for the perpetrators to make excuses for their actions.
Third, after he left for work, I went to do my daily meditation and my A Course In Miracles lesson. The lesson was this: “My mind is preoccupied with past thoughts.” During my meditation I saw myself standing on a hilltop with the sun rising on a fresh new day. I felt for the first time, that even though I’ve been afraid for so long, I can let it go forever. That other little voice in my head that’s been telling me I’m loved, worthy, and talented, can now be the guiding force in my life with no competition.
A couple of Sundays ago, Faith Salie had a wonderful segment on CBS Sunday Morning about how art has helped her see her life in a new way. There are two words used in the art world that she said she wants to be her words for this new year. The first is, pentimento, the presence or emergence of earlier images, forms, or strokes that have been changed and painted over. She used the example of some Henri Matisse drawings she’d seen, which show places he erased so that he could improve the drawing. To her this meant he repented and changed his mind about what he was creating. That’s something we can all do with our lives. We can take a step back, change our minds about where we’re going and construct something new out of the broken pieces. Which brings me to the other word she is embracing, kintsugi, the Japanese practice of repairing broken ceramics with gold.
Each of us is broken in some way. Some of us stay broken and that becomes our story. But others of us accept our flaws and brokenness and in doing so we become stronger; we’re able to help others stitch together their broken places as well. We can take the lessons we’ve learned along the way and let them propel us, with no regrets, into the sunlight of a new day.
So, I’m joining Faith Salie, and adopting pentimento and kintsugi as my words for the year. Today is a fresh, new beginning. And for the first time in a long time, I feel like my life is new and full of all kinds of previously unimagined possibilities.
Thanks for reading, liking and commenting. I hope you have a fabulous new year.
Lucinda is the author of The Space Between Time, an award finalist in the “Fiction:Fantasy” category of the 2017 Best Book Awards. It’s a historical, time-travel, magical realism, women’s novel, and is available in all ebook formats at Smashwords, and print-on-demand at Amazon and other fine book sellers. To join her email list, click here. She will never sell the names on her list.
Sage Woman Chronicles 